The Law Of Chastity- Chastity Before Marriage

The Law Of Chastity
Chastity Before Marriage

THE LAW OF CHASTITY—First Presidency (Benson, Hinckley, Monson)
The First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles have stated, “We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102). This commandment is called the law of chastity. The Lord’s law of moral conduct is abstinence outside of lawful marriage and fidelity within marriage. Sexual relations are proper only between husband and wife appropriately expressed within the bonds of marriage. Any other sexual contact, including fornication, adultery, and homosexual and lesbian behavior, is sinful.

Imagine for one minute
A very busy intersection
You and a small child
The child breaks free to play in the intersection
What do you do?
Why?
Why not play in the street?

Naive and maybe arrogant
I did not get hurt.
I have seen others do it.
I am only hurting my self.
Why do you care?

What is society doing?
In terms of preoccupation with self and a fixation on the physical, this is more than social insanity; it is spiritually destructive, and it accounts for much of the unhappiness that women, including young women, face in the modern world.

The Anti-Chastity Culture
Human sexuality is presented in our culture as the driving force—if not the ultimate need—behind all human endeavor.

We live in a culture where the ideal of chastity has not only been lost, it invites ridicule.

Groups and organizations now actively treat sexuality as an inevitable part of adolescence, with mutual consent as the only legal measure of the activity.
Our children are now bombarded with false messages.

Happiness and peace of mind come from keeping our lives pure.
Great blessings come from obeying the law of chastity, and tragic consequences come from disobeying it.

Living other gospel principles helps us live the law of chastity.

Great blessings come from obeying the law of chastity, and tragic consequences come from disobeying it.

Obedience vs Disobedience
Answer the following two questions
What really happens to us spiritually when we obey?
What really happens to us spiritually when we disobey?
Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.
(2 Nephi 2:27)


Living other gospel principles helps us live the law of chastity.
What can we do to stay morally clean throughout our lives?

Scriptural suggestions . . .
This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.
(Galatians 5:16 - 17)

Living other gospel principles helps us live the law of chastity.
Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,
Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
(Galatians 5:19 - 21)

Living other gospel principles helps us live the law of chastity.
Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man:
But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.
Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.
(James 1:13 - 15)

Love vs. Lust
LOVE
Selfless
God is LOVE

LUST
Selfish
Satan is LUST

Living other gospel principles helps us live the law of chastity.
And now, my sons, I would that ye should look to the great Mediator, and hearken unto his great commandments; and be faithful unto his words, and choose eternal life, according to the will of his Holy Spirit;
And not choose eternal death, according to the will of the flesh and the evil which is therein, which giveth the spirit of the devil power to captivate, to bring you down to hell, that he may reign over you in his own kingdom.
(2 Nephi 2:28 - 29)

Living other gospel principles helps us live the law of chastity.
And they said unto me: What meaneth the rod of iron which our father saw, that led to the tree?
And I said unto them that it was the word of God; and whoso would hearken unto the word of God, and would hold fast unto it, they would never perish; neither could the temptations and the fiery darts of the adversary overpower them unto blindness, to lead them away to destruction.
(1 Nephi 15:23 - 24)

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland October, 2005 General Conference
I plead with you young women to please be more accepting of yourselves, including your body shape and style, with a little less longing to look like someone else. We are all different. Some are tall, and some are short. Some are round, and some are thin. And almost everyone at some time or other wants to be something they are not! (Ensign, November 2005, 28).

Elder Holland (con’t)
You are bombarded in movies, television, fashion magazines, and advertisements with the message that looks are everything! The pitch is, "If your looks are good enough, your life will be glamorous and you will be happy and popular." That kind of pressure is immense in the teenage years, to say nothing of later womanhood. In too many cases too much is being done to the human body to meet just such a fictional (to say nothing of superficial) standard. As one Hollywood actress is reported to have said recently: "We’ve become obsessed with beauty and the fountain of youth. . . . I’m really saddened by the way women mutilate [themselves] in search of that. I see women [including young women] . . . pulling this up and tucking that back. It’s like a slippery slope. [You can't get off of it.] . . . It’s really insane . . . what society is doing to women” (Ensign, November 2005, 28).

Elder Boyd K. Packer: “We have watched the standards of morality sink ever lower until now they are in a free-fall” (Ensign, Nov 1998, 22)
The Worlds Emphasis is Mostly on the External. What Does The Church’s Focus On?
Gospel Base: Being Moral Agents and Our Procreative Powers
We are offspring of God. Being human means we are capable of acting on the environment rather than being acted upon, and this ability must extend to the power to create life.
The quality of spirit of our procreative powers resides in the spirit, not in the body, and thus our sexual involvement is an expression of that spirit, and we are accountable for our actions, not mere victims of desires we can do nothing about.
When we turn our hearts to God our feelings can be transformed accordingly. We are not trapped by them. In the moment we are self-centered in our physical intimacies in marriage, we cheat ourselves of the emotions which attend self-forgetful loving.


Gospel Foundations of Chastity
Chastity and fidelity begin in the spirit, not in the body, and involve the giving of our hearts—our broken hearts, our softened hearts—to our mates unequivocally.
While unrepentant, the consequences of sexual sin can be found in the immediate relationship.

Unchastity, which the world holds out as an act of freedom, fulfillment, and need, is actually an act that enslaves, leaves us unfilled, and regarding “need,” proves to be unsatiable.
Elder Bruce C. Hafen

... [Have] reverence for life, and the life-giving powers of the human body ... during the time of courtship, always be emotionally honest in the expression of affection. Sometimes you are not as careful as you might be about when, how, and to whom you express your feelings of affection. You must realize that the desire to express affection can be motivated by things other than true love.
... In your courtships, even when you feel there is a growing foundation of true love, show your profound respect for that love and the possibilities of your life together by restraining your passions. Do not be deceived by the false notion that anything short of the sex act itself is acceptable conduct. That is a lie, not only because one step overpoweringly leads to another, but also because the handling of another’s body is in an important sense part of the sexual act that is kept holy by the sanctuary of chastity. If ever you are in doubt about where the line is between love and lust, draw the line toward the side of love. Nobody ever fell off a cliff who never went near one.
... Sometimes you may let someone take improper liberties with you, or you may indulge yourself in some practice that seems to bring temporary relief but only makes you feel worse in the long run. Some even make poor marriage choices, just to show the world that somebody will have them. Ultimately, however, only the Lord’s approval of your life really matters. (Purity While Dating "The Gospel and Romantic Love," Ensign, Oct. 1982, pp.64-67)

Elder Richard G. Scott
Within the enduring covenant of marriage, the Lord permits husband and wife the expression of the sacred procreative powers in all their loveliness and beauty within the bounds He has set. One purpose of this private, sacred, intimate experience is to provide the physical bodies for the spirits Father in Heaven wants to experience mortality. Another reason for these powerful and beautiful feelings of love is to bind husband and wife together in loyalty, fidelity, consideration of each other, and common purpose.
Any sexual intimacy outside of the bonds of marriage—I mean any intentional contact with the sacred, private parts of another’s body, with or without clothing—is a sin and is forbidden by God. It is also a transgression to intentionally stimulate these emotions within your own body. ... [Remember] that true love elevates, protects, respects, and enriches another. Purposes of Intimacy in Marriage “Making the Right Choices,” Conference Report, October 1994


“Before marriage, do not do anything to arouse the powerful emotions that must be expressed only in marriage. Do not participate in passionate kissing, lie on top of another person, or touch the private, sacred parts of another person’s body, with or without clothing. Do not allow anyone to do that with you. Do not arouse those emotions in your own body” (For the Strength of Youth [pamphlet, 2001], 27).

Pres. Hinckley: Same Sex Issues
“People inquire about our position on those who consider themselves so-called gays and lesbians. My response is that we love them as sons and daughters of God. They may have certain inclinations which are powerful and which may be difficult to control. Most people have inclinations of one kind or another at various times. If they do not act upon these inclinations, then they can go forward as do all other members of the Church. If they violate the law of chastity and the moral standards of the Church, then they are subject to the discipline of the Church, just as others are…

Pres Hinckley (con’t)
“We want to help these people, to strengthen them, to assist them with their problems and to help them with their difficulties. But we cannot stand idle if they indulge in immoral activity, if they try to uphold and defend and live in a so-called same-sex marriage situation. To permit such would be to make light of the very serious and sacred foundation of God-sanctioned marriage and its very purpose, the rearing of families” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1998, 91; or Ensign, Nov. 1998, 71).

Satan’s Role
Satan not only encourages us to dress immodestly, but he also encourages us to think immoral or improper thoughts. He does this with pictures, movies, stories, jokes, music, and dances that suggest immoral acts. The law of chastity requires that our thoughts as well as our actions be pure. The prophet Alma taught that when we are judged by God, “our thoughts will also condemn us; and in this awful state we shall not dare to look up to our God” (Alma 12:14). Satan sometimes tempts us through our emotions. He knows when we are lonely, confused, or depressed. He chooses this time of weakness to tempt us to break the law of chastity. Our Heavenly Father can give us the strength to pass through these trials unharmed.


President Gordon B. Hinckley warned:
“You live in a world of terrible temptations. Pornography, with its sleazy filth, sweeps over the earth like a horrible, engulfing tide. It is poison. Do not watch it or read it. It will destroy you if you do. It will take from you your self-respect. It will rob you of a sense of the beauties of life. It will tear you down and pull you into a slough of evil thoughts and possibly of evil actions. Stay away from it. Shun it as you would a foul disease, for it is just as deadly. Be virtuous in thought and in deed. God has planted in you, for a purpose, a divine urge which may be easily subverted to evil and destructive ends. When you are young, do not get involved in steady dating. When you reach an age where you think of marriage, then is the time to become so involved. But you boys who are in high school don’t need this, and neither do the girls” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1997, 71–72; or Ensign, Nov. 1997, 51).

Scriptures
Paul taught, “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it” (1 Corinthians 10:13). Alma emphasized that we will “not be tempted above that which [we] can bear” as we “humble [ourselves] before the Lord, and call on his holy name, and watch and pray continually” (Alma 13:28).

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland –Why Sexual Purity Is So Important!! “OF SOULS, SYMBOLS, AND SACRAEMENTS”
1. Our spirit and body make up our soul
2. Chastity and Fidelity are symbols of unity, commitment, and total union.
3. Sexual intimacy is a symbolic union between mortals and deity—a sacrament.

Soul
Our soul is our spirit + our body
I Corinthians 6:13-20
If you “toy” with someone's body you toy with their soul which really belongs to Christ
Our souls were bought with a “price” – the blood of Jesus
Therefore, when you mock the body you mock the atonement
Alma 39:17 – The worth of souls
Alma 40:9 – There is a time appointed
Alma 40:21 – Happiness or misery for your soul between death and resurrection
Symbol
A symbol of total union
Sealing - Welding
A symbol of total commitment, a complete union
“The package deal”
Sexual fragmentation
Psychologically damaging
Counterfeit intimacy
Held accountable
You can not pretend to be one by sharing the physical and flee that which is meant to be a total union

Alma 41:9 “…do not risk one more offense…”
Alma 41:10 “…wickedness never was happiness”
Sexual fragmentation and Counterfeit intimacy
Alma 41:11 “…contrary to the nature of happiness.”

Sacrament
A sacrament is anything that binds us to God and allows us to feel His power.
Intimacy is not just a union between a man and a woman, but also with God.
Intimacy between a man and a woman make them very much like God.
Intimacy between a man and a woman is taking a claim on Gods’ power.
Alma 42:6-7 “…lost forever, yea, cut off both temporally and spiritually”
Alma 42:9 “…it was expedient that mankind should be reclaimed…”
Alma 42:15 “…God himself atoneth for the sins of the world…”
Alma 42:27 Come and participate in the covenants offered by God.

OF SOULS, SYMBOLS, AND SACRAEMENTS

WHY IS THIS (Chastity) SUCH AN IMPORTANT ISSUE FROM AN ETERNAL PERSPECTIVE?
WHY SHOULD WE BE MORALLY CLEAN?

Elder Boyd K. Packer
“We declare that one who uses the God-given body of another without divine sanction abuses the very soul of that individual, abuses the central purpose and processes of life— ‘the very key’ to life.”

President Ezra Taft Benson-- Six Steps to Prepare and Prevent
Decide now to be chaste.
Control your thoughts.
Always pray for the power to resist temptation.
If you are married, avoid flirtations of any kind.
If you are married, avoid being alone with members of the opposite sex whenever possible.

For those who are single and dating members of the opposite sex, carefully plan positive and constructive activities so that you are not left to yourselves with nothing to do but share physical affection.

President Ezra Taft Benson-- Five Steps to Repair and Repent
Flee immediately from any situation you are in that is either causing you to sin or that may cause you to sin.
Plead with the Lord for the power to overcome.
Let your priesthood leaders help you resolve the transgression and come back into full fellowship with the Lord.
Drink from the divine fountain and fill your lives with positive sources of power.
Remember that through proper repentance you can become clean again.

Elder Holland
“(The) Penalty (for being unchaste) may not come on the precise day of transgression, but it comes surely and certainly enough. And unless there is true repentance and obedience to a merciful god, then someday, somewhere, the morally cavalier and unclean will… (be) tormented…”

Elder Holland
“(for those that need to repent) to you is extended the peace and renewal of repentance available through the atoning sacrifice of the Lord Jesus Christ…The path of repentance is not easily begun nor painlessly traveled. But the Savior of the world will walk the essential journey with you. He will strengthen you when you waver…”

Elder Boyd K. Packer
Now, in a spirit of sympathy and love, I speak to you who may be struggling against temptations for which there is no moral expression. Some have resisted temptation but never seem to be free from it.  Do not yield!  Cultivate the spiritual strength to resist—all of your life, if need be. Some are tortured by thoughts of covenants already forsaken and sometimes think of suicide. Suicide is no solution at all. Do not even think of it. The very fact that you are so disturbed marks you as a spiritually sensitive soul for whom there is great hope. You may wonder why God does not seem to hear your pleading prayers and erase these temptations. When you know the gospel plan, you will understand that the conditions of our mortal probation require that we be left to choose. That test is the purpose of life. While these addictions may have devoured, for a time, your sense of morality or quenched the spirit within you, it is never too late. You may not be able, simply by choice, to free yourself at once from unworthy feelings. You can choose to give up the immoral expression of them.

Elder Boyd K. Packer (con’t)
The suffering you endure from resisting or from leaving a life-style of addiction or perversion is not a hundredth part of that suffered by your parents, your spouse or your children, if you give up. Theirs is an innocent suffering because they love you. To keep resisting or to withdraw from such a life-style is an act of genuine unselfishness, a sacrifice you place on the altar of obedience. It will bring enormous spiritual rewards. Remember that agency, that freedom of choice that you demanded when you forsook your covenants? That same agency can now be drawn upon to exert a great spiritual power of redemption. The love we offer may be a tough love, but it is of the purest kind; and we have more to offer than our love.  We can teach you of the cleansing power of repentance. If covenants have been broken, however hard it may be, they may be reinstated, and you can be forgiven. Even for abortion? Yes, even that! ( Resisting Unworthy Feelings and Temptations, Ensign, November 1990)

President Kimball said:
“To every forgiveness there is a condition. … The fasting, the prayers, the humility must be equal to or greater than the sin. There must be a broken heart and a contrite spirit. … There must be tears and genuine change of heart. There must be conviction of the sin, abandonment of the evil, confession of the error to properly constituted authorities of the Lord.. Even though forgiveness is so abundantly promised there is no promise nor indication of forgiveness to any soul who does not totally repent. … We can hardly be too forceful in reminding people that they cannot sin and be forgiven and then sin again and again and expect repeated forgiveness” (The Miracle of Forgiveness [1969], 353, 360). Those who receive forgiveness and then repeat the sin are held accountable for their former sins (see D&C 82:7; Ether 2:15).

Guidelines For Dating (adapted from Lewis Church-Orem Institute of Religion)
Human intimacy is God’s gift to the married.
Never go into a house, apartment or bedroom alone with someone of the opposite sex.
Do not neck or pet
No back rubs
No French kissing
Dress, speak and act modestly
Do not park

Chastity (Con’t)
8. Avoid anything which simulates sexual intimacy
9. Attend only wholesome, uplifting activities
10. Do not date individuals with a known “bad reputation”
11. No late hours
12. Get wholesome exercise
13. Each partner should be responsible for his/her own actions


Chastity (con’t)
14. Discuss dating rules with partners
15. Use wisdom and common sense
16. Do not think that you are the exception to these (or other) rules
17. Get help from the Lord to know yourself and your weaknesses
18. Memorize this RULE OF THREE TO KEEP YOURSELF SAFE
Don’t be alone together
In stationary positions
For long periods of time