The Roles of Women/Mothers
Pres. Hinckley: Each of us is an individual. Each of us is different. There must be respect for those differences, and while it is important and necessary that both the husband and the wife strive to ameliorate those differences, there must be some recognition that they exist and that they are not necessarily undesirable. There must be respect one for another, notwithstanding such differences. In fact, the differences may make the companionship more interesting” (“Cornerstones of a Happy Home” [pamphlet, 1984]).
Women and men have divinely appointed roles and responsibilities in the gospel plan.
By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.
Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation.
Extended families should lend support when needed.
(First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102)
ASK?
What does it mean that men are to:
Preside
Provide
Protect
For men and women who understand the plan of salvation, what eternal roles are most important for them to fill?
Men and Women are Equal Before the Lord.
What have our Church leaders said about the equality of men and women?
What are the inherent strengths of men?
What are the inherent strengths of women?
Does superiority rest with either of the sexes?
The divinely appointed roles and responsibilities of men and women reflect their different but complementary natures.
Which responsibilities belong primarily to men? to women?
What does the proclamation say about individual adaptations to these responsibilities?
What is our obligation in helping each other fill our separate roles and responsibilities?
In what ways are these roles complimentary?
Melvin J. Ballard
“For as we have a Father in Heaven, so also we have a Mother there, a glorified, exalted, ennobled Mother. I recognize that this is a startling doctrine to some folks, and yet we ought to be governed by reason in giving consideration to this doctrine which is a revelation from God. .
Melvin J. Ballard (con’t)
Not only is there no life in this world without a mother; there is no life in the realms that are above and beyond us, unless there is also a mother. Motherhood is eternal with Godhood, and there is no such thing as eternal or endless life without the eternal and endless continuation of motherhood” (Melvin J. Ballard, as quoted in Crusader for Righteousness, Bookcraft,, pp. 127-128).
Matthew Cowley
"You [sisters] belong to the great sorority of Saviorhood. You may not hold the priesthood. Men are different, men have to have something given to them to make them saviors of men, but not mothers, not women. You are born with an inherent right, an inherent authority, to be the saviors of human souls. You are the co-creators with God of his children. Therefore, it is expected of you by a right divine that you be the saviors and the regenerating force in the lives of God's children here upon the earth." (Matthew Cowley, Matthew Cowley Speaks, p. 1090.
President Gordon B. Hinckley
Let every mother realize that she has no greater blessing than the children which have come to her as a gift from the Almighty; that she has no greater mission than to rear them in light and truth, and understanding and love; that she will have no greater happiness than to see them grow into young men and women who respect principles of virtue, who walk free from the stain of immorality and from the shame of delinquency. (Ensign, November 1993, 60.)
President Gordon B. Hinckley
"Now there is an added challenge for you [women] of this day. Never before, at least not in our generation, have the forces of evil been so blatant, so brazen, so aggressive as they are today. Things we dared not speak about in earlier times are now constantly projected into our living rooms.
President Gordon B. Hinckley
If anyone can change the dismal situation into which we are sliding, it is you [the mothers]. Rise up, dear women to the great challenge which faces you. Stand above the sleaze and the filth and the temptation which is all about you. (“Walking in the Light of the Lord,” Women’s Meeting, Ensign, Nov. 1998, 98-99.)
Church leaders have counseled mothers generally not to seek employment outside the home.
What are the potential costs of mothers working outside the home when it is not necessary to do so?
What is the counsel regarding those who must do so?
"President Benson has taught that a mother with children should be in the home. … (To the Mothers in Zion [pamphlet, 1987], 5–6). You in these unusual circumstances qualify for additional inspiration and strength from the Lord. Those who leave the home for lesser reasons will not"
(Elder Richard G. Scott, in Conference Report, Apr. 1993, 42–43; or Ensign, May 1993, 34).
Church leaders have counseled mothers generally not to seek employment outside the home.
What are some of the unrealistic role expectations among women today?
Why do some men and women feel burdened by conflicting or unrealistic role expectations or feel they are expected to "run faster or labor more than [they] have strength" (D&C 10:4)?
What are the dangers of comparing ourselves to others?
President Kimball
“It was never intended by the Lord that married women should compete with men in employment. They have a far greater and more important service to render.” (Faith precedes the Miracle, p. 128)
Should Mothers Work? President Kimball
“Numerous divorces can be traced directly to the day when the wife left the home and went out into the world into employment. Two incomes raise the standard of living beyond its norm. Two spouses working prevent the complete and proper home life, break into the family prayers, create an independence which is not cooperative, causes distortion, limits the family, and frustrates the children already born.”
President Kimball (con’t)
“…Wives, come home from the typewriter, the laundry, the nursing, come home from the factory, the care. No career approaches in importance that of wife, homemaker, mother—cooking meals, washing dishes, making beds for one’s precious husband and children.”
President Ezra Taft Benson
Contrary to conventional wisdom, a mother’s calling is in the home, not in the marketplace…We realize also that some of our choice sisters are widowed and divorced and that others find themselves in unusual circumstances where, out of necessity, they are required to work for a period of time. But these instances are the exception, not the rule”
President Hinckley
“There are some women who have to work to provide for the needs of their families. To you I say, do the very best you can. I hope that if you are employed full-time you are doing it to ensure that basic needs are met and not simply to indulge a taste for an elaborate home, fancy cars, and other luxuries…It is well-nigh impossible to be a full-time homemaker and a full-time employee.”
President Gordon B. Hinckley
“Nothing is more precious to you as mothers, absolutely nothing. Your children are the most valuable thing you will have in time or all eternity… I think the nurture and upbringing of children is more than a part-time responsibility. I recognize that some women must work, but I fear that there are far too many who do so only to get the means for a little more luxury and a few fancier toys.”
President Gordon B. Hinckley – Advice to Single Women
“Do not give up hope. And do not give up trying. But do give up being obsessed with it. The chances are that if you forget about it and become anxiously engaged in other activities, the prospects will brighten immeasurably…
President Gordon B. Hinckley
“My prayer is that you will rededicate yourselves to the strengthening of your homes… But the task will never be finished. It will never be complete. May the light of the Lord shine upon you. May the Lord bless you in your great and sacred work” (“Walking in the Light of the Lord,” Women’s Meeting, Ensign, Nov. 1998, 98-99).
President Ezra Taft Benson 10 Ways To Be a Better Mother
Be at the Crossroads
Be a Real Friend
Read to Your Children
Pray with Your Children
Have Weekly Home Evenings
Be Together at Mealtimes
Read Scriptures Daily
Do Things as a Family
Teach Your Children
Truly Love Your Children
Monday, February 14, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
Why We Marry In The Temple (The Right Place)
Why We Marry In The Temple (The Right Place)
President Ezra Taft Benson
“The temple is a sacred place, and the ordinances in the temple are of a sacred character. Because of its sacredness we are sometimes reluctant to say anything about the temple to our children and grandchildren. As a consequence, many do not develop a real desire to go to the temple, or when they go there, they do so without much background to prepare them for the obligations and covenants they enter into.”
(“What I Hope You Will Teach Your Children about the Temple,” Logan Temple Centennial, May 17, 1984.)
(temples) “represent the ultimate in our worship and the ultimate in blessings offered” (Ensign, Nov 1999, 6)
"Your chances for a happy and lasting marriage will be far greater if you will date those who are active and faithful in the Church. Such dating is most likely to lead to marriage in the House of the Lord."
(Gordon B. Hinckley, "Four B's for Boys," Ensign, Nov. 1981, 41)
President Howard W. Hunter
“Establish the temple of the Lord as the great symbol of their membership” (Ensign, July 1994, 5)
“Truly, the Lord desires that His people be a temple-motivated people. It would be the deepest desire of my heart to have every member of the church to be temple worthy. I would hope that every adult member would be worthy of - and carry - a current temple recommend, even if proximity to a temple does not allow immediate or frequent use of it.
Let us be a temple-attending and a temple-loving people. Let us hasten to the temple as frequently as time and means and personal circumstances allow.” (Howard W. Hunter (Ensign, October 1994)
President Hinckley
“There is no substitute for marrying in the temple. It is the only place under the heavens where marriage can be solemnized for eternity.”
“To every man and woman, to every boy and girl, prepare now to go to the House of the Lord. Let a resolution come into your heart that you will put your life in order and bring about such reformation as may be needed to qualify yourself to go to that beautiful House” (Church News, 6 Nov. 1999, 2)
President Gordon B. Hinckley
“Everything that occurs in those temples is concerned with the eternities, with everlasting life” (Messages of Inspiration from President Hinckley,” Church News, 6 February, 1999, 2)
President Gordon B. Hinckley
“If there were more temple work done in the Church, there would be less of selfishness, less of contention, less of demeaning others. The whole Church would increasingly be lifted to greater heights of spirituality, love for one another, and obedience to the commandments of God” (Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley, 1997, 622)
Temple Worship
James E. Faust 1988
“The ordinances and covenants of the temple are absolutely essential for the fullness of life on this earth and to qualify for exaltation with our Father in Heaven.
“Stated in the most fundamental terms, each of us should receive our temple ordinances and provide temple ordinances for our ancestors.”
Elder Boyd K. Packer
“How important are (the ordinances of the gospel) to us as members of the Church? Can you be happy, can you be redeemed, can you be exalted without them? Answer: they are more than advisable or desirable, or even than necessary. More even than essential or vital. They are crucial to each of us” (The Holy Temple, 1980, 145-46).
Elder Boyd K. Packer
If you will go the temple and remember that the teaching is symbolic, you will never go in the proper spirit without coming away with your vision extended, feeling a little more exalted, with your knowledge increased as to things that are spiritual (The Holy Temple, Ensign, February, 1995, 32-36)
President Ezra Taft Benson
“The temple ceremony was given by a wise Heavenly Father to help us become more Christlike. The endowment was revealed by revelation and can be understood only by revelation. The instruction is given in SYMBOLIC LANGUAGE” (The Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, 1988, 250-51)
Elder John A. Widtsoe
“We live in a world of symbols. No man or woman can come out of the temple endowed as he should be, unless he has seen, beyond the symbol, the mighty realities for which the symbols stand” (Temple worship,” 62. Manual 314)
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO SEE “BEYOND THE SYMBOL”?
Preparatory Temple Ordinances:
Baptism: I Cor 15:29
Washings – Ex. 29:4-7; 124.
Anointings – Kings and Queens of Israel – Ex. 28:41; 29:30, 30:19-21, 25, 31.
Washings & Anointings called “Initiatory”
Endowment:
Sealings:
Garments – Ex. 29:5, 29.
Veils and altars: Ex. 30:1, 6.
Elder John A. Widtsoe Why Marry in the Temple?
It is the Lord’s desire and will
It is in harmony with the sacred nature of the marriage covenant.
It tends to insure marital happiness.
It permits the association of husband and wife for time and for all eternity.
It provides the eternal possession of children and family relationship
It acts as a restraint against evil.
It furnishes the opportunity for endless progression.
It places the family under the protection of the power of the Priesthood.
It provides a God-like destiny for human beings.
An earlier First Presidency explained the meaning of ‘eternal lives:’
ENDOWMENT
Latter-day Saints learn their purpose in life in endowment ceremonies. They make promises or covenants with God, pledge to keep his commandments and receive his blessings in return. Typically, a young adult goes through the ceremony before becoming a missionary or getting married.
1. In the first endowment room, people watch a film which dramatizes the human journey, from premortality through the Garden of Eden and Christ's sacrifice for the sins of the world.
2. Participants move into a brighter and more beautiful endowment room, where they learn about the blessings God will give them.
3. After agreeing to the conditions of their covenants with God, they pass through a veil which symbolically separates mortal and immortal life.
4. The celestial room symbolizes the highest degree of glory in heaven where God and Jesus Christ dwell. It is the most beautiful and sacred room in the temple. Patrons pray and meditate here only after going through endowment ceremonies, which last about 90 minutes.
To “take out your endowments”
What does it mean to “take out your endowments”?
“Let me give you a definition in brief. Your endowment is, to receive all those ordinances in the house of the Lord, which are necessary for you, after you have departed this life, to enable you to walk back to the presence of the Father, passing the angels who stand as sentinel,…and gain your eternal exaltation”
Temple Endowment
“The ordinances of the endowment embody certain obligations on the part of the individual, such as covenant and promise to observe the law of strict virtue and chastity, to be charitable, benevolent, tolerant, and pure; to devote both talent and material means to the spread of truth and the uplifting of the [human] race; to maintain devotion to the cause of truth; and to seek in every way to contribute to the great preparation that the earth may be made ready to receive her King, - the Lord Jesus Christ. With the taking of each covenant and the assuming of each obligation a promised blessing is pronounced, contingent upon the faithful observance of the conditions.”James E. Talmage,The House of the Lord (1968), p. 83-84
INSIDE A MORMON TEMPLE
USA Today
30 April 1997
TEMPLE MARRIAGE
Spouses and families are joined for eternity in sealing rooms. Only faithful church members may attend.
1. The bride and groom kneel across from each other. The bride usually wears a traditional wedding gown.
2. Mirrors hanging on opposite walls reflect the couple infinitely, symbolizing eternity.
3. Rings are usually exchanged, although they are not required.
4. Children born before a temple marriage must also be sealed for the family to remain together forever. The children kneel around the altar with their parents.
Temple Sealings
Elements of the Sealing Ordinance
Having already received your individual endowment and dressed in appropriate temple clothing, both of you will kneel on opposite sides of an altar in the sealing room and there you will receive good and proper counsel. Then, under the direction of the officiator—one of those few men on the earth upon whom the prophet of the Lord has authorized the sealing power to be conferred—you will participate in the ordinance of celestial marriage.
1. Individual covenants and blessings. Each of you will individually and separately make promises, commitments, and covenants with your Heavenly Father and will individually receive promises of blessings conditioned on your individual worthiness. The individual nature of these promises is such that even if one of you were to cease being obedient following your participation in the sealing ordinance and so lose the promises made to you, the other partner who remained faithful would continue to be eligible to receive the promised blessings.
2. Joint covenants and blessings. The two of you jointly will make promises, commitments, and covenants with your Heavenly Father and will make covenants to receive each other as husband and wife. You then will jointly receive promises of blessings conditioned upon your joint faithfulness. The continued faithful obedience of both of you is essential if the promised blessings are to be received jointly. This is because the promises are made to you as one—that is, as a single unit consisting of two halves.
3. Joining in celestial marriage. This element qualifies you to live together as husband and wife under the laws of the land. It is here that you are united forever, becoming one flesh before the Lord and forming a new family unit that, if you are faithful and obedient, will last forever.
4. Blessings for children born in the covenant. All children born to the two of you are born under the blessings of the sealing covenant; thus, it is common to say that your children are “born in the covenant.” They are entitled to blessings of the Abrahamic covenant, including:
a. The gospel
b. The priesthood
c. Celestial marriage
d. Eternal life
(see Bruce R. McConkie, Mormon Doctrine, 2nd ed. [1966], 13).
“Those who endure in perfect faith, who receive the Melchizedek Priesthood, and who gain the blessings of the temple (including celestial marriage) are eventually (anointed now to become) anointed [or ordained] kings and priests. These are offices given faithful holders of the Melchizedek Priesthood, and in them they will bear rule as exalted beings during the millennium and in eternity.”
(Bruce R. McConkie, Mormon Doctrine, 2nd ed. [SLC: Bookcraft, 1966], 599.)
Covenants:
Satan hates us to make covenants. When we re-commit ourselves to be better---based on an eternal perspective and our sacred promise--- he re-commits to destroy us.
‘Now that I understand my purposes in this life and the doctrines of the gospel, and have given my sacred vow, I will do my best to handle the challenges of mortality’ (1 Nephi 4:37.) Zoram
Joseph Smith, HC, 5:391. “Except a man and his wife enter into an everlasting covenant and be married for eternity, while in this probation, by the power and authority of the Holy Priesthood, they will cease to increase when they die: that is they will not have any children after the resurrection. But those who are married by the power and authority of the priesthood in this life (and are faithful to their covenants) continue to increase and have children in the celestial glory.”
Joseph Smith
“The question is frequently asked ‘Can we not be saved without going through with all those ordinances?’ I would answer, No, not the fulness of salvation. Jesus said, There are many mansions in my Father’s house, and I will go and prepare a place for you. House here named should have been translated kingdom; and any person who is exalted to the highest mansion has to abide a celestial law, and the whole law too” (Teaching of the prophet Joseph Smith, (1976), 331).
Elder Carlos E. Asay
Temple garment:
Properly wear it
“Armor of God
Wearing it day and night serves 3 purposes: 1)it is a reminder of the sacred covenants made with the Lord; 2) a protective covering for the body; 3) symbol of the modesty of dress and living that should characterize the lives of all the humble followers of Christ.”
“Garments bear several simple marks of orientation toward the gospel principles of obedience, truth, life, and discipleship in Christ.”
Garments have been worn throughout the ages. (Ensign, August 1997, 18-23)
Temple Blessings and Applications Carlos E. Asay
Blessings of an Examined Life
Blessing of Perfect Pedagogy
Blessing of understanding our ministries
Blessing of Holy Endowment
Blessing of walking on the bridge spanning Heaven and Earth
Blessing of precious teachings, feelings, and resolves
Blessing of becoming better acquainted with God
Elder J. Ballard Washburn
“We go to the temple to make covenants, but we go home to keep the covenants that we have made. The home is the testing ground. The home is the place where we learn to be more Christlike. The home is the place where we learn to overcome selfishness and give ourselves in service to others” (Ensign, May 1995, 12)
If you believed that you and your children were the very best spirits being sent to the earth in this final dispensation to: (1) take the gospel to the world; (2) perfect a group of people who could survive the 2nd Coming to do temple work and fix all the problems from the first 6,000 years; and (3) redeem the dead – some of who have waited for millennia to have their work done, how would such information affect:
Dating to find an eternal companion
Treatment of spouse and children
Missions
Personal worthiness
Seminary & Institute
Family history labor
Morality & cleanliness
Temple marriage and worship
Eternal potential
Parenthood and family size
How should we view:
Video games
Television
Leisure time
Inappropriate movies
Music
Expenditures (tithing, fast offerings)
Scripture study
Computer use
Priorities
Prayer
Arrangements for a temple marriage
Do you need a marriage license to be married in the temple?
How many temple recommends do you need to be married in the temple?
Do you have to make an appointment to be married in the temple?
Do you need a civil ceremony prior to your temple marriage?
Arrangements for a temple marriage
Are blood tests required to be married in the temple?
Do you need parental consent?
How long do you have to wait to be married in the temple if you choose to be married civilly first?
What must your wedding dress be like?
Pres. Brigham Young
“There is one principle that I would like to have the Latter-day Saints perfectly understand–that is, of blessings and cursings. For instance, we read that war, pestilence, plagues, famine, etc., will be visited upon the inhabitants of the earth; but if distress through the judgments of God comes upon this people (the Saints), it will be because the majority have turned away from the Lord. Let the majority of the people turn away from the Holy Commandments which the Lord has delivered to us, and cease to hold the balance of power in the Church, and we may expect the judgments of God to come upon us; but while six-tenths, or three-fourths of this people will keep the commandments of God, the curse and judgments of the Almighty will never come upon them---though we will have trials of various kinds, and the elements to contend with---natural and spiritual elements. While this people will strive to serve God according to the best of their abilities, they will fare better, have more to eat and wear, have better homes to live in, better associations, and enjoy themselves better than the wicked ever do or ever will do.” (Journal of Discourses 10:335-36, emphasis added)
Elder Boyd K. Packer
“Ordinances and covenants become our credentials for admission into His presence. To worthily receive them is the quest of a lifetime; to keep them thereafter is the challenge of mortality” (Ensign, May 1987, 24)
President Ezra Taft Benson
“The temple is a sacred place, and the ordinances in the temple are of a sacred character. Because of its sacredness we are sometimes reluctant to say anything about the temple to our children and grandchildren. As a consequence, many do not develop a real desire to go to the temple, or when they go there, they do so without much background to prepare them for the obligations and covenants they enter into.”
(“What I Hope You Will Teach Your Children about the Temple,” Logan Temple Centennial, May 17, 1984.)
(temples) “represent the ultimate in our worship and the ultimate in blessings offered” (Ensign, Nov 1999, 6)
"Your chances for a happy and lasting marriage will be far greater if you will date those who are active and faithful in the Church. Such dating is most likely to lead to marriage in the House of the Lord."
(Gordon B. Hinckley, "Four B's for Boys," Ensign, Nov. 1981, 41)
President Howard W. Hunter
“Establish the temple of the Lord as the great symbol of their membership” (Ensign, July 1994, 5)
“Truly, the Lord desires that His people be a temple-motivated people. It would be the deepest desire of my heart to have every member of the church to be temple worthy. I would hope that every adult member would be worthy of - and carry - a current temple recommend, even if proximity to a temple does not allow immediate or frequent use of it.
Let us be a temple-attending and a temple-loving people. Let us hasten to the temple as frequently as time and means and personal circumstances allow.” (Howard W. Hunter (Ensign, October 1994)
President Hinckley
“There is no substitute for marrying in the temple. It is the only place under the heavens where marriage can be solemnized for eternity.”
“To every man and woman, to every boy and girl, prepare now to go to the House of the Lord. Let a resolution come into your heart that you will put your life in order and bring about such reformation as may be needed to qualify yourself to go to that beautiful House” (Church News, 6 Nov. 1999, 2)
President Gordon B. Hinckley
“Everything that occurs in those temples is concerned with the eternities, with everlasting life” (Messages of Inspiration from President Hinckley,” Church News, 6 February, 1999, 2)
President Gordon B. Hinckley
“If there were more temple work done in the Church, there would be less of selfishness, less of contention, less of demeaning others. The whole Church would increasingly be lifted to greater heights of spirituality, love for one another, and obedience to the commandments of God” (Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley, 1997, 622)
Temple Worship
James E. Faust 1988
“The ordinances and covenants of the temple are absolutely essential for the fullness of life on this earth and to qualify for exaltation with our Father in Heaven.
“Stated in the most fundamental terms, each of us should receive our temple ordinances and provide temple ordinances for our ancestors.”
Elder Boyd K. Packer
“How important are (the ordinances of the gospel) to us as members of the Church? Can you be happy, can you be redeemed, can you be exalted without them? Answer: they are more than advisable or desirable, or even than necessary. More even than essential or vital. They are crucial to each of us” (The Holy Temple, 1980, 145-46).
Elder Boyd K. Packer
If you will go the temple and remember that the teaching is symbolic, you will never go in the proper spirit without coming away with your vision extended, feeling a little more exalted, with your knowledge increased as to things that are spiritual (The Holy Temple, Ensign, February, 1995, 32-36)
President Ezra Taft Benson
“The temple ceremony was given by a wise Heavenly Father to help us become more Christlike. The endowment was revealed by revelation and can be understood only by revelation. The instruction is given in SYMBOLIC LANGUAGE” (The Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, 1988, 250-51)
Elder John A. Widtsoe
“We live in a world of symbols. No man or woman can come out of the temple endowed as he should be, unless he has seen, beyond the symbol, the mighty realities for which the symbols stand” (Temple worship,” 62. Manual 314)
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO SEE “BEYOND THE SYMBOL”?
Preparatory Temple Ordinances:
Baptism: I Cor 15:29
Washings – Ex. 29:4-7; 124.
Anointings – Kings and Queens of Israel – Ex. 28:41; 29:30, 30:19-21, 25, 31.
Washings & Anointings called “Initiatory”
Endowment:
Sealings:
Garments – Ex. 29:5, 29.
Veils and altars: Ex. 30:1, 6.
Elder John A. Widtsoe Why Marry in the Temple?
It is the Lord’s desire and will
It is in harmony with the sacred nature of the marriage covenant.
It tends to insure marital happiness.
It permits the association of husband and wife for time and for all eternity.
It provides the eternal possession of children and family relationship
It acts as a restraint against evil.
It furnishes the opportunity for endless progression.
It places the family under the protection of the power of the Priesthood.
It provides a God-like destiny for human beings.
An earlier First Presidency explained the meaning of ‘eternal lives:’
ENDOWMENT
Latter-day Saints learn their purpose in life in endowment ceremonies. They make promises or covenants with God, pledge to keep his commandments and receive his blessings in return. Typically, a young adult goes through the ceremony before becoming a missionary or getting married.
1. In the first endowment room, people watch a film which dramatizes the human journey, from premortality through the Garden of Eden and Christ's sacrifice for the sins of the world.
2. Participants move into a brighter and more beautiful endowment room, where they learn about the blessings God will give them.
3. After agreeing to the conditions of their covenants with God, they pass through a veil which symbolically separates mortal and immortal life.
4. The celestial room symbolizes the highest degree of glory in heaven where God and Jesus Christ dwell. It is the most beautiful and sacred room in the temple. Patrons pray and meditate here only after going through endowment ceremonies, which last about 90 minutes.
To “take out your endowments”
What does it mean to “take out your endowments”?
“Let me give you a definition in brief. Your endowment is, to receive all those ordinances in the house of the Lord, which are necessary for you, after you have departed this life, to enable you to walk back to the presence of the Father, passing the angels who stand as sentinel,…and gain your eternal exaltation”
Temple Endowment
“The ordinances of the endowment embody certain obligations on the part of the individual, such as covenant and promise to observe the law of strict virtue and chastity, to be charitable, benevolent, tolerant, and pure; to devote both talent and material means to the spread of truth and the uplifting of the [human] race; to maintain devotion to the cause of truth; and to seek in every way to contribute to the great preparation that the earth may be made ready to receive her King, - the Lord Jesus Christ. With the taking of each covenant and the assuming of each obligation a promised blessing is pronounced, contingent upon the faithful observance of the conditions.”James E. Talmage,The House of the Lord (1968), p. 83-84
INSIDE A MORMON TEMPLE
USA Today
30 April 1997
TEMPLE MARRIAGE
Spouses and families are joined for eternity in sealing rooms. Only faithful church members may attend.
1. The bride and groom kneel across from each other. The bride usually wears a traditional wedding gown.
2. Mirrors hanging on opposite walls reflect the couple infinitely, symbolizing eternity.
3. Rings are usually exchanged, although they are not required.
4. Children born before a temple marriage must also be sealed for the family to remain together forever. The children kneel around the altar with their parents.
Temple Sealings
Elements of the Sealing Ordinance
Having already received your individual endowment and dressed in appropriate temple clothing, both of you will kneel on opposite sides of an altar in the sealing room and there you will receive good and proper counsel. Then, under the direction of the officiator—one of those few men on the earth upon whom the prophet of the Lord has authorized the sealing power to be conferred—you will participate in the ordinance of celestial marriage.
1. Individual covenants and blessings. Each of you will individually and separately make promises, commitments, and covenants with your Heavenly Father and will individually receive promises of blessings conditioned on your individual worthiness. The individual nature of these promises is such that even if one of you were to cease being obedient following your participation in the sealing ordinance and so lose the promises made to you, the other partner who remained faithful would continue to be eligible to receive the promised blessings.
2. Joint covenants and blessings. The two of you jointly will make promises, commitments, and covenants with your Heavenly Father and will make covenants to receive each other as husband and wife. You then will jointly receive promises of blessings conditioned upon your joint faithfulness. The continued faithful obedience of both of you is essential if the promised blessings are to be received jointly. This is because the promises are made to you as one—that is, as a single unit consisting of two halves.
3. Joining in celestial marriage. This element qualifies you to live together as husband and wife under the laws of the land. It is here that you are united forever, becoming one flesh before the Lord and forming a new family unit that, if you are faithful and obedient, will last forever.
4. Blessings for children born in the covenant. All children born to the two of you are born under the blessings of the sealing covenant; thus, it is common to say that your children are “born in the covenant.” They are entitled to blessings of the Abrahamic covenant, including:
a. The gospel
b. The priesthood
c. Celestial marriage
d. Eternal life
(see Bruce R. McConkie, Mormon Doctrine, 2nd ed. [1966], 13).
“Those who endure in perfect faith, who receive the Melchizedek Priesthood, and who gain the blessings of the temple (including celestial marriage) are eventually (anointed now to become) anointed [or ordained] kings and priests. These are offices given faithful holders of the Melchizedek Priesthood, and in them they will bear rule as exalted beings during the millennium and in eternity.”
(Bruce R. McConkie, Mormon Doctrine, 2nd ed. [SLC: Bookcraft, 1966], 599.)
Covenants:
Satan hates us to make covenants. When we re-commit ourselves to be better---based on an eternal perspective and our sacred promise--- he re-commits to destroy us.
‘Now that I understand my purposes in this life and the doctrines of the gospel, and have given my sacred vow, I will do my best to handle the challenges of mortality’ (1 Nephi 4:37.) Zoram
Joseph Smith, HC, 5:391. “Except a man and his wife enter into an everlasting covenant and be married for eternity, while in this probation, by the power and authority of the Holy Priesthood, they will cease to increase when they die: that is they will not have any children after the resurrection. But those who are married by the power and authority of the priesthood in this life (and are faithful to their covenants) continue to increase and have children in the celestial glory.”
Joseph Smith
“The question is frequently asked ‘Can we not be saved without going through with all those ordinances?’ I would answer, No, not the fulness of salvation. Jesus said, There are many mansions in my Father’s house, and I will go and prepare a place for you. House here named should have been translated kingdom; and any person who is exalted to the highest mansion has to abide a celestial law, and the whole law too” (Teaching of the prophet Joseph Smith, (1976), 331).
Elder Carlos E. Asay
Temple garment:
Properly wear it
“Armor of God
Wearing it day and night serves 3 purposes: 1)it is a reminder of the sacred covenants made with the Lord; 2) a protective covering for the body; 3) symbol of the modesty of dress and living that should characterize the lives of all the humble followers of Christ.”
“Garments bear several simple marks of orientation toward the gospel principles of obedience, truth, life, and discipleship in Christ.”
Garments have been worn throughout the ages. (Ensign, August 1997, 18-23)
Temple Blessings and Applications Carlos E. Asay
Blessings of an Examined Life
Blessing of Perfect Pedagogy
Blessing of understanding our ministries
Blessing of Holy Endowment
Blessing of walking on the bridge spanning Heaven and Earth
Blessing of precious teachings, feelings, and resolves
Blessing of becoming better acquainted with God
Elder J. Ballard Washburn
“We go to the temple to make covenants, but we go home to keep the covenants that we have made. The home is the testing ground. The home is the place where we learn to be more Christlike. The home is the place where we learn to overcome selfishness and give ourselves in service to others” (Ensign, May 1995, 12)
If you believed that you and your children were the very best spirits being sent to the earth in this final dispensation to: (1) take the gospel to the world; (2) perfect a group of people who could survive the 2nd Coming to do temple work and fix all the problems from the first 6,000 years; and (3) redeem the dead – some of who have waited for millennia to have their work done, how would such information affect:
Dating to find an eternal companion
Treatment of spouse and children
Missions
Personal worthiness
Seminary & Institute
Family history labor
Morality & cleanliness
Temple marriage and worship
Eternal potential
Parenthood and family size
How should we view:
Video games
Television
Leisure time
Inappropriate movies
Music
Expenditures (tithing, fast offerings)
Scripture study
Computer use
Priorities
Prayer
Arrangements for a temple marriage
Do you need a marriage license to be married in the temple?
How many temple recommends do you need to be married in the temple?
Do you have to make an appointment to be married in the temple?
Do you need a civil ceremony prior to your temple marriage?
Arrangements for a temple marriage
Are blood tests required to be married in the temple?
Do you need parental consent?
How long do you have to wait to be married in the temple if you choose to be married civilly first?
What must your wedding dress be like?
Pres. Brigham Young
“There is one principle that I would like to have the Latter-day Saints perfectly understand–that is, of blessings and cursings. For instance, we read that war, pestilence, plagues, famine, etc., will be visited upon the inhabitants of the earth; but if distress through the judgments of God comes upon this people (the Saints), it will be because the majority have turned away from the Lord. Let the majority of the people turn away from the Holy Commandments which the Lord has delivered to us, and cease to hold the balance of power in the Church, and we may expect the judgments of God to come upon us; but while six-tenths, or three-fourths of this people will keep the commandments of God, the curse and judgments of the Almighty will never come upon them---though we will have trials of various kinds, and the elements to contend with---natural and spiritual elements. While this people will strive to serve God according to the best of their abilities, they will fare better, have more to eat and wear, have better homes to live in, better associations, and enjoy themselves better than the wicked ever do or ever will do.” (Journal of Discourses 10:335-36, emphasis added)
Elder Boyd K. Packer
“Ordinances and covenants become our credentials for admission into His presence. To worthily receive them is the quest of a lifetime; to keep them thereafter is the challenge of mortality” (Ensign, May 1987, 24)
Marrying The Right Person At The Right Time
Marrying The Right Person At The Right Time
When Should You Get Married??
Age
Station in life (education, previous marriage, children, indebtedness, employment, etc.)
Financial
Personal readiness (spiritual, emotional)
Other----
President Gordon B. Hinckley
"This will be the most important decision of your life, the individual that you marry. . . Marry the right person in the right place at the right time." (Ensign, Feb 1999, p. 2)
President Hinckley
“All of this (a good marriage and a happy family life) can come to pass if you make this most important decision, one guided by prayer as well as instinct, of choosing a dear companion who will be yours through thick and thin forever, throughout all eternity.”
The Right Place, the Right Authority
Elder McConkie: The most important things that any member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints ever does in this world are; 1. To marry the right person, in the right place, by the right authority; and 2. To keep the covenant made in connection with this holy and perfect order of matrimony.”
Just as Amulek taught as recorded in Alma 34:34, President Gordon B. Hinckley teaches us about eternity. He says, "This life is part of eternity. This is one stage of our eternal lives. When we die, we will go on to purposeful, active, challenging living. The life on the other side of the veil will be somewhat like the life here." (Nov 7, 1997).
Dispelling the “one-and-only” Myth
Elder Packer: “While I am sure some young couples have some special guidance in getting together, I do not believe in predestined love…. You must do the choosing, rather than to seek for some one-and-only so-called soul mate, chosen for you by someone else and waiting for you.”
President Kimball
“Soulmates” are fiction and an illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful…”
What type of problems might we face if we believe there is only one person we can marry?
President Hinckley
reminds us how we can bless the lives of future generations, "To you I say with all of the energy of which I am capable, do not become a weak link in the chain of your generations. You come to the world with a marvelous inheritance. You come of great men and women. . . Never let them down. Never do anything which would weaken the chain of which you are a fundamental part." (Ricks College Devotional, 1999)
1. We should strive to improve ourselves as we decide who to marry.
2. We should follow the counsel of the prophets and apostles as we date and decide who to marry.
3. We should plan carefully, think, fast, and pray when selecting our eternal companion.
4. We should seek the Spirit’s inspiration in our marriage decision.
5. Engagement provides a time for growth and preparation
“If the choice is between reforming [others] or ourselves, is there really any question about where we should begin? The key is to have our eyes wide open to our own faults and partially closed to the faults of others—not the other way around! The imperfections of others never release us from the need to work on our own shortcomings.”
-Elder Neal A. Maxwell
Ensign, May 1982, p. 39
Marvin J. Ashton
"I remind you again that compromising and lowering standards and ideals never have been and never will be tools of happiness. While we are striving for quality conduct in our lives, we must ever realize that being single will never be as painful as being married to the wrong person with wrong and selfish standards. A mate must be willing to share tender and loving associations in an eternal quest for life at its best. Avoid getting married just to be married. Feeling sorry for people or desiring to help them get their lives in order are poor reasons for marriage. Marriage should be based on love and shared values.“ (“Be a Quality Person.” Ensign, Feb, 1993, 66)
President Hinckley--Singleness
“My heart reaches out to those among us, especially our single sisters, who long for marriage and cannot seem to find it. Our Father in Heaven reserves for them every promised blessing. I have far less sympathy for the young men, who under the customs of our society have the prerogative to take the initiative in these matters but in so many cases fail to do so. Strong words have been spoken to them in the past by Presidents of this church. “What God Hath Joined Together,” Ensign, May 1991, 71
Elder Dallin H. Oaks
"The timing of marriage is perhaps the best example of an extremely important event in our lives that is almost impossible to plan. Like other important mortal events that depend on the agency of others or the will and timing of the Lord, marriage cannot be anticipated or planned with certainty. We can and should work for and pray for our righteous desires, but despite this, many will remain single well beyond their desired time for marriage."So what should be done in the meantime? Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ prepares us for whatever life brings. This kind of faith prepares us to deal with life's opportunities—to take advantage of those that are received and to persist through the disappointments of those that are lost. In the exercise of that faith, we should commit ourselves to the priorities and standards we will follow on matters we do not control and persist faithfully in those commitments, whatever happens to us because of the agency of others or the timing of the Lord. When we do this, we will have a constancy in our lives that will give us direction and peace. Whatever the circumstances beyond our control, our commitments and standards can be constant. (“Timing,” Ensign, Oct, 2003, 15).
Elder Dallin H. Oaks
“We know that many worthy and wonderful Latter-day Saints currently lack the ideal opportunities and essential requirements for their progress. Singleness, childlessness, death, and divorce frustrate ideals and postpone the fulfillment of promised blessings. In addition, some women who desire to be full-time mothers and homemakers have been literally compelled to enter the full-time workforce. But these frustrations are only temporary. The Lord has promised that in the eternities no blessing will be denied his sons and daughters who keep the commandments, are true to their covenants, and desire what is right.”
“Many of the most important deprivations of mortality will be set right in the Millennium, which is the time for fulfilling all that is incomplete in the great plan of happiness for all of our Father’s worthy children. We know that will be true of temple ordinances. I believe it will also be true of family relationships and experiences” (Ensign, November 1993, 75)
2. Follow the counsel of the prophets and apostles as you date and decide who to marry
President Hinckley (p. 188)
Choose a companion:
-of your own faith
-you can always honor
-you can always respect
-who will complement you in your own life
-to whom you can give your entire heart, your entire love, your entire allegiance, your entire loyalty
Elder McConkie (p. 189)
-have normal, wholesome, normal affection for the person you will marry
-they should be worthy to go to the temple
Elder Scott (p. 189)
Your eternal companion should:
-have a deep love of the Lord & his commandments
-have a “determination to live” the commandments
-be kindly understanding
-be forgiving of others
-be willing to give of self
-have the desire to have a family
-be committed to teaching children the principles of truth
Hugh B. Brown:
someone who has achieved physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual maturity—and self-control
President Gordon B. Hinckley: “Be true to yourselves, and your respect for yourself will increase. Know that yours is a divine birthright. Cultivate a good opinion of yourselves.”
Essential Attributes of an Eternal Companion
Elder Scott: “I suggest that you not ignore many possible candidates who are still developing these attributes, seeking the one who is perfected in them. You will likely not find that perfect person, and if you did, there would certainly be no interest in you. These attributes are best polished together as husband and wife.”
Bottom Line
1.These attributes are as important to you as to your companion.
2.Seek temple worthiness rather than perfection in a potential mate.
3.It is not our place to judge another person, rather the influence others might have on us.
4.Plan carefully, think, fast, and pray when selecting our eternal companion.
5.Spirituality, dispositions, maturity, commitment to gospel principles.
REVIEW: Social Science Research Characteristics That Most Influence Marital Success
impulse control, emotional/mental health sociability, self-esteem, personality, values, attitudes, and beliefs
The Right Relationship: mature vs. immature love, positive and negative communication
Similar backgrounds
President Spencer W. Kimball describes marital love: faith, confidence, understanding, partnership, devotion and companionship, parenthood, common ideals and standards, cleanliness of life, and sacrifice and unselfishness; it never tires nor wanes.
Love, whether immature or mature, has three parts—emotional, belief, and behavioral.
A mature “consecrated” love for partner, family, and the Lord is a binding love.
High-quality communication (before and during marriage) one of the most important aspects of success in marriage—begins with a righteous heart.
Right Relationship (con’t)
Seek your own personal confirmation
(Elder Oaks, p. 191)
-must be within the limits of your stewardship
Use both agency and prayer (Elder McConkie, p. 191)
-must be struggle and effort on our part
-being tested to see how we will respond
-make our decision, get counsel, then get a spiritual confirmation
Engagement and Planning The Wedding
Engagement: not too long or too short
Focus on the spiritual, not the social experience
No dishonor in breaking off a bad engagement—should not allow pressures to get married to overshadow making the correct choice.
The Honeymoon: Often not what they are hyped up to be; need patience and a sense of humor
Engagement provides a time for growth and preparation.
- In what ways can a couple prepare during the engagement period?
-How can using the engagement period as a time of “personal growth” benefit a marriage?
Seeking Spiritual Confirmation
1. Live worthy of inspiration
2. Exercise agency and inspiration
3. Ask in faith
4. Seek multiple witnesses
5. Discern between inspiration, infatuation, and desperation
6. Confirmation should be sought by both
Lessons from Moses Crossing the Red Sea (Jeffrey R. Holland, 2 Mar 1999)
I am not saying you shouldn't be very careful about something as significant and serious as marriage. And I certainly am not saying that a young man can get a revelation that he is to marry a certain person without that young woman getting the same confirmation. I have seen a lot of those one-way revelations in young people's lives. Yes, there are cautions and considerations to make, but once there has been genuine illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don't give up when the pressure mounts. You can find an apartment. You can win over your mother-in-law. You can sell your harmonica and therein fund one more meal. It's been done before. Don't give in. Certainly don't give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. He wants everyone to be miserable like unto himself. Face your doubts. Master your fears. "Cast not away therefore your confidence." Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you.
Elder Dallin H. Oaks,
“We do not always receive inspiration or revelation when we request it. Sometimes we are delayed in the receipt of revelation, and sometimes we are left to our own judgment. We cannot force spiritual things. It must be so. Our life’s purpose to obtain experience and to develop faith would be frustrated in our Heavenly Father directed us in every act, even in every important act. Even in decisions we think very important, we sometimes receive no answer to our prayers. This does not mean that our prayers have not been heard. It means only that we have prayed about a decision that, for one reason or another, we should make without guidance by revelation. Perhaps we have asked for guidance in choosing between alternatives that are equally acceptable or equally unacceptable.”(New Era, Sept. 2004, 4)
We should follow the counsel of prophets and apostles as we date and decide who to marry.
Conclusion/Summary
One needs to be the “right person” as well as find the “right person”
The quality of the couple relationship established before marriage influences the quality of the marriage
Circumstances from our past and our present environments affect the way our relationships develop.
Marrying at the right time is crucial.
President Gordon B. Hinckley—(to young men) Qualities needed to live “… Worthy of the Girl You Will Someday Marry”
Be Absolutely Loyal
Be a Young Man of virtue
Live the Word of Wisdom
Avoid Profanity
Learn Now to Control Your Temper
Work for an Education
Be Modest in Your Wants
Go on a Mission and Be Married in the temple
Prepare to Become a Righteous Father
Now is the Time to Prepare For the Future
When Should You Get Married??
Age
Station in life (education, previous marriage, children, indebtedness, employment, etc.)
Financial
Personal readiness (spiritual, emotional)
Other----
President Gordon B. Hinckley
"This will be the most important decision of your life, the individual that you marry. . . Marry the right person in the right place at the right time." (Ensign, Feb 1999, p. 2)
President Hinckley
“All of this (a good marriage and a happy family life) can come to pass if you make this most important decision, one guided by prayer as well as instinct, of choosing a dear companion who will be yours through thick and thin forever, throughout all eternity.”
The Right Place, the Right Authority
Elder McConkie: The most important things that any member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints ever does in this world are; 1. To marry the right person, in the right place, by the right authority; and 2. To keep the covenant made in connection with this holy and perfect order of matrimony.”
Just as Amulek taught as recorded in Alma 34:34, President Gordon B. Hinckley teaches us about eternity. He says, "This life is part of eternity. This is one stage of our eternal lives. When we die, we will go on to purposeful, active, challenging living. The life on the other side of the veil will be somewhat like the life here." (Nov 7, 1997).
Dispelling the “one-and-only” Myth
Elder Packer: “While I am sure some young couples have some special guidance in getting together, I do not believe in predestined love…. You must do the choosing, rather than to seek for some one-and-only so-called soul mate, chosen for you by someone else and waiting for you.”
President Kimball
“Soulmates” are fiction and an illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful…”
What type of problems might we face if we believe there is only one person we can marry?
President Hinckley
reminds us how we can bless the lives of future generations, "To you I say with all of the energy of which I am capable, do not become a weak link in the chain of your generations. You come to the world with a marvelous inheritance. You come of great men and women. . . Never let them down. Never do anything which would weaken the chain of which you are a fundamental part." (Ricks College Devotional, 1999)
1. We should strive to improve ourselves as we decide who to marry.
2. We should follow the counsel of the prophets and apostles as we date and decide who to marry.
3. We should plan carefully, think, fast, and pray when selecting our eternal companion.
4. We should seek the Spirit’s inspiration in our marriage decision.
5. Engagement provides a time for growth and preparation
“If the choice is between reforming [others] or ourselves, is there really any question about where we should begin? The key is to have our eyes wide open to our own faults and partially closed to the faults of others—not the other way around! The imperfections of others never release us from the need to work on our own shortcomings.”
-Elder Neal A. Maxwell
Ensign, May 1982, p. 39
Marvin J. Ashton
"I remind you again that compromising and lowering standards and ideals never have been and never will be tools of happiness. While we are striving for quality conduct in our lives, we must ever realize that being single will never be as painful as being married to the wrong person with wrong and selfish standards. A mate must be willing to share tender and loving associations in an eternal quest for life at its best. Avoid getting married just to be married. Feeling sorry for people or desiring to help them get their lives in order are poor reasons for marriage. Marriage should be based on love and shared values.“ (“Be a Quality Person.” Ensign, Feb, 1993, 66)
President Hinckley--Singleness
“My heart reaches out to those among us, especially our single sisters, who long for marriage and cannot seem to find it. Our Father in Heaven reserves for them every promised blessing. I have far less sympathy for the young men, who under the customs of our society have the prerogative to take the initiative in these matters but in so many cases fail to do so. Strong words have been spoken to them in the past by Presidents of this church. “What God Hath Joined Together,” Ensign, May 1991, 71
Elder Dallin H. Oaks
"The timing of marriage is perhaps the best example of an extremely important event in our lives that is almost impossible to plan. Like other important mortal events that depend on the agency of others or the will and timing of the Lord, marriage cannot be anticipated or planned with certainty. We can and should work for and pray for our righteous desires, but despite this, many will remain single well beyond their desired time for marriage."So what should be done in the meantime? Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ prepares us for whatever life brings. This kind of faith prepares us to deal with life's opportunities—to take advantage of those that are received and to persist through the disappointments of those that are lost. In the exercise of that faith, we should commit ourselves to the priorities and standards we will follow on matters we do not control and persist faithfully in those commitments, whatever happens to us because of the agency of others or the timing of the Lord. When we do this, we will have a constancy in our lives that will give us direction and peace. Whatever the circumstances beyond our control, our commitments and standards can be constant. (“Timing,” Ensign, Oct, 2003, 15).
Elder Dallin H. Oaks
“We know that many worthy and wonderful Latter-day Saints currently lack the ideal opportunities and essential requirements for their progress. Singleness, childlessness, death, and divorce frustrate ideals and postpone the fulfillment of promised blessings. In addition, some women who desire to be full-time mothers and homemakers have been literally compelled to enter the full-time workforce. But these frustrations are only temporary. The Lord has promised that in the eternities no blessing will be denied his sons and daughters who keep the commandments, are true to their covenants, and desire what is right.”
“Many of the most important deprivations of mortality will be set right in the Millennium, which is the time for fulfilling all that is incomplete in the great plan of happiness for all of our Father’s worthy children. We know that will be true of temple ordinances. I believe it will also be true of family relationships and experiences” (Ensign, November 1993, 75)
2. Follow the counsel of the prophets and apostles as you date and decide who to marry
President Hinckley (p. 188)
Choose a companion:
-of your own faith
-you can always honor
-you can always respect
-who will complement you in your own life
-to whom you can give your entire heart, your entire love, your entire allegiance, your entire loyalty
Elder McConkie (p. 189)
-have normal, wholesome, normal affection for the person you will marry
-they should be worthy to go to the temple
Elder Scott (p. 189)
Your eternal companion should:
-have a deep love of the Lord & his commandments
-have a “determination to live” the commandments
-be kindly understanding
-be forgiving of others
-be willing to give of self
-have the desire to have a family
-be committed to teaching children the principles of truth
Hugh B. Brown:
someone who has achieved physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual maturity—and self-control
President Gordon B. Hinckley: “Be true to yourselves, and your respect for yourself will increase. Know that yours is a divine birthright. Cultivate a good opinion of yourselves.”
Essential Attributes of an Eternal Companion
Elder Scott: “I suggest that you not ignore many possible candidates who are still developing these attributes, seeking the one who is perfected in them. You will likely not find that perfect person, and if you did, there would certainly be no interest in you. These attributes are best polished together as husband and wife.”
Bottom Line
1.These attributes are as important to you as to your companion.
2.Seek temple worthiness rather than perfection in a potential mate.
3.It is not our place to judge another person, rather the influence others might have on us.
4.Plan carefully, think, fast, and pray when selecting our eternal companion.
5.Spirituality, dispositions, maturity, commitment to gospel principles.
REVIEW: Social Science Research Characteristics That Most Influence Marital Success
impulse control, emotional/mental health sociability, self-esteem, personality, values, attitudes, and beliefs
The Right Relationship: mature vs. immature love, positive and negative communication
Similar backgrounds
President Spencer W. Kimball describes marital love: faith, confidence, understanding, partnership, devotion and companionship, parenthood, common ideals and standards, cleanliness of life, and sacrifice and unselfishness; it never tires nor wanes.
Love, whether immature or mature, has three parts—emotional, belief, and behavioral.
A mature “consecrated” love for partner, family, and the Lord is a binding love.
High-quality communication (before and during marriage) one of the most important aspects of success in marriage—begins with a righteous heart.
Right Relationship (con’t)
Seek your own personal confirmation
(Elder Oaks, p. 191)
-must be within the limits of your stewardship
Use both agency and prayer (Elder McConkie, p. 191)
-must be struggle and effort on our part
-being tested to see how we will respond
-make our decision, get counsel, then get a spiritual confirmation
Engagement and Planning The Wedding
Engagement: not too long or too short
Focus on the spiritual, not the social experience
No dishonor in breaking off a bad engagement—should not allow pressures to get married to overshadow making the correct choice.
The Honeymoon: Often not what they are hyped up to be; need patience and a sense of humor
Engagement provides a time for growth and preparation.
- In what ways can a couple prepare during the engagement period?
-How can using the engagement period as a time of “personal growth” benefit a marriage?
Seeking Spiritual Confirmation
1. Live worthy of inspiration
2. Exercise agency and inspiration
3. Ask in faith
4. Seek multiple witnesses
5. Discern between inspiration, infatuation, and desperation
6. Confirmation should be sought by both
Lessons from Moses Crossing the Red Sea (Jeffrey R. Holland, 2 Mar 1999)
I am not saying you shouldn't be very careful about something as significant and serious as marriage. And I certainly am not saying that a young man can get a revelation that he is to marry a certain person without that young woman getting the same confirmation. I have seen a lot of those one-way revelations in young people's lives. Yes, there are cautions and considerations to make, but once there has been genuine illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don't give up when the pressure mounts. You can find an apartment. You can win over your mother-in-law. You can sell your harmonica and therein fund one more meal. It's been done before. Don't give in. Certainly don't give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. He wants everyone to be miserable like unto himself. Face your doubts. Master your fears. "Cast not away therefore your confidence." Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you.
Elder Dallin H. Oaks,
“We do not always receive inspiration or revelation when we request it. Sometimes we are delayed in the receipt of revelation, and sometimes we are left to our own judgment. We cannot force spiritual things. It must be so. Our life’s purpose to obtain experience and to develop faith would be frustrated in our Heavenly Father directed us in every act, even in every important act. Even in decisions we think very important, we sometimes receive no answer to our prayers. This does not mean that our prayers have not been heard. It means only that we have prayed about a decision that, for one reason or another, we should make without guidance by revelation. Perhaps we have asked for guidance in choosing between alternatives that are equally acceptable or equally unacceptable.”(New Era, Sept. 2004, 4)
We should follow the counsel of prophets and apostles as we date and decide who to marry.
Conclusion/Summary
One needs to be the “right person” as well as find the “right person”
The quality of the couple relationship established before marriage influences the quality of the marriage
Circumstances from our past and our present environments affect the way our relationships develop.
Marrying at the right time is crucial.
President Gordon B. Hinckley—(to young men) Qualities needed to live “… Worthy of the Girl You Will Someday Marry”
Be Absolutely Loyal
Be a Young Man of virtue
Live the Word of Wisdom
Avoid Profanity
Learn Now to Control Your Temper
Work for an Education
Be Modest in Your Wants
Go on a Mission and Be Married in the temple
Prepare to Become a Righteous Father
Now is the Time to Prepare For the Future
What is Real Love?
True Love?! What is Real Love?
Understanding true love will help establish and maintain eternal relationships.
Love is a process that is often misunderstood.
To achieve an eternal marriage, couples must learn what true love is; the difference between true love and its counterfeits; and be willing to work really hard—it takes constant effort. (watering a plant)
What is true love?
What are some of the counterfeits of true love?
How does our love for God influence our ability to love others?
What types of conduct helps develop true love in relationships?
What is True Love?
“One might become immediately attracted to another individual, but (true) love is far more than physical attraction. It is deep, inclusive and comprehensive. Physical attraction is only one of the many elements, but there must be faith and confidence and understanding and partnership. There must be common ideals and standards. There must be a great devotion and companionship. Love is cleanliness and progress and sacrifice and selflessness. This kind of love never tires nor wanes, but lives through sickness and sorrow, poverty and privation, accomplishment and disappointment, time and eternity.” (President Spencer W. Kimball)
What is True Love?
“True love is not so much a matter of romance as it is a matter of anxious concern for the well being of one’s companion.” (President Gordon B. Hinckley, 1971)
“True love is a process . . . Too often expediency, infatuation, stimulation, persuasion, or lust are mistaken for love . . . We must at regular and appropriate intervals speak and reassure others of our love and the long time it takes to prove it by our actions. Real love does take time . . . Love demands action if it is to be continuing… (love) is a process. Love is not a declaration. Love is not an announcement. Love is not a passing fancy. Love is not an expediency. Love is not a convenience.” (Elder Marvin J. Ashton, 1975)
“. . . When the Lord says all thy heart, it allows for no sharing nor dividing nor depriving. . . The words none else eliminate everyone and everything. The spouse then becomes preeminent in the life of the husband or wife, and neither social life nor occupational life nor political life nor any other interest nor person nor thing shall ever take precedence over the companion spouse.”
-President Spencer W. Kimball
Conference Report, Oct. 1962, p. 57
What is True Love?
“If ye love me, keep my commandments’ and ‘If ye love me feed my sheep’ are God-given proclamations that should remind us we can often best show our love through the processes of feeding and keeping.” (Elder Marvin J. Ashton, 1975)
Characteristics of True Love
Doctrine & Covenants 42:22-23
How do “works of the flesh” contrast with walking “in the Spirit”?
Galatians 5:16, 17, 19
Galatians 5:22-23
“Keeping and Feeding”
“The young man who protects his sweetheart against all use or abuse, against insult and infamy from himself or others, could be expressing true love.” (President Spencer W. Kimball)
“Life is tough enough without having the person who is supposed to love you leading the assault on your self-esteem, your sense of dignity, your confidence, and your joy. In this person’s care you deserve to feel physically safe and emotionally secure.” (Elder Jeffery R. Holland, “How do I Love Thee”)
“Keeping and Feeding”
“Be quick to say, ‘I’m sorry.’ As hard as it is to form the words, be swift to say, ‘I apologize, and please forgive me,’ even though you are not the one who is totally at fault. True love is developed by those who are willing to readily admit personal mistakes and offenses.” (Elder Joe J. Christensen, 1995)
Quick talk
Turn to the person next to you and quickly make a list of things a couple can do keep and feed each other
To achieve an eternal marriage, couples must learn the difference between true love and its counterfeits.
“Satan promotes counterfeit love, which is lust…While camouflaged by flattering words, its motivation is self-gratification.” (Elder Richard G. Scott, 1991)
“The greatest deception foisted upon the human race in our day is that overemphasis of physical gratification as it is related to romantic love.” (Elder Boyd K. Packer)
To achieve an eternal marriage, couples must learn the difference between true love and its counterfeits.
“You cannot succeed in love if you keep one foot out on the bank for safety’s sake. The very nature of the endeavor requires that you hold on to each other as tightly as you can and jump in the pool together.” (Elder Jeffery R. Holland, “How do I Love Thee?”)
Worldly social exchange theory has placed the self and its’ gratification at the forefront.
“True love blooms when we care more about another person than we care about ourselves…[when we] think the best of each other, especially of those you say you love. [And] assume the good and doubt the bad” (Elder Jeffery R. Holland, “How do I Love Thee?”)
To achieve an eternal marriage, couples must learn the difference between true love and its counterfeits.
What role should physical attraction play in the selection of a mate?
Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.
(Romans 13:10)
What are some of the ways couples "work ill" to each other today?
What do we need to do to be “selfless” regarding physical attraction?
To achieve an eternal marriage, couples must learn the difference between true love and its counterfeits.
If we love anything more than God, how will it affect our love in courtship and marriage?
No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.
(Matthew 6:24)
Wherefore, I give unto them a commandment, saying thus: Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy might, mind, and strength; and in the name of Jesus Christ thou shalt serve him.
(D&C 59:5)
Commitment
“Without a strong commitment to the Lord, an individual is more prone to have a low level of commitment to a spouse. Weak commitments to eternal covenants lead to losses of eternal consequence.” (Elder Russell M. Nelson, Ensign, May 1997, 72)
“. . . Nothing except God Himself takes priority over your wife in your life—not work, not recreation, not hobbies . . . You cannot demean her, criticize her, find fault with her. . . Stay close to her, be loyal and faithful to her, communicate with her, and express your love for her.”
-President Ezra Taft Benson
Ensign, Nov. 1987, p. 50
To achieve an eternal marriage, couples must learn the difference between true love and its counterfeits.
Proper dating relationships can help us know who to marry.
Couples whose relationship progresses from friendship to steady dating eventually arrive at a crossroads. The relationship can:
Progress to engagement.
Regress to casual dating.
End.
How can we know what to do?
Issues of responsibility . . .
God vs me . . .
Elder Holland provides some counsel about developing love:
1 The ability to love is a gift
2 It is revealed by the way we treat each other
3 We can cultivate qualities that will help us
4 We participate in a “sacred trust” with our partner
We should follow the counsel of prophets and apostles as we date and decide who to marry.
"Be worthy of the mate you choose."
"Marry the right person in the right place at the right time."
"Choose a companion of your own faith. You are much more likely to be happy."
"Choose a companion you can always honor."
"Choose a companion … you can always respect."
"Choose a companion … who will complement you in your own life."
"Choose a companion … to whom you can give your entire heart, your entire love, your entire allegiance, your entire loyalty.“
(Gordon B. Hinckley, "Life's Obligations," Ensign, Feb. 1999, 2, 4)
Understanding true love will help establish and maintain eternal relationships.
Love is a process that is often misunderstood.
To achieve an eternal marriage, couples must learn what true love is; the difference between true love and its counterfeits; and be willing to work really hard—it takes constant effort. (watering a plant)
What is true love?
What are some of the counterfeits of true love?
How does our love for God influence our ability to love others?
What types of conduct helps develop true love in relationships?
What is True Love?
“One might become immediately attracted to another individual, but (true) love is far more than physical attraction. It is deep, inclusive and comprehensive. Physical attraction is only one of the many elements, but there must be faith and confidence and understanding and partnership. There must be common ideals and standards. There must be a great devotion and companionship. Love is cleanliness and progress and sacrifice and selflessness. This kind of love never tires nor wanes, but lives through sickness and sorrow, poverty and privation, accomplishment and disappointment, time and eternity.” (President Spencer W. Kimball)
What is True Love?
“True love is not so much a matter of romance as it is a matter of anxious concern for the well being of one’s companion.” (President Gordon B. Hinckley, 1971)
“True love is a process . . . Too often expediency, infatuation, stimulation, persuasion, or lust are mistaken for love . . . We must at regular and appropriate intervals speak and reassure others of our love and the long time it takes to prove it by our actions. Real love does take time . . . Love demands action if it is to be continuing… (love) is a process. Love is not a declaration. Love is not an announcement. Love is not a passing fancy. Love is not an expediency. Love is not a convenience.” (Elder Marvin J. Ashton, 1975)
“. . . When the Lord says all thy heart, it allows for no sharing nor dividing nor depriving. . . The words none else eliminate everyone and everything. The spouse then becomes preeminent in the life of the husband or wife, and neither social life nor occupational life nor political life nor any other interest nor person nor thing shall ever take precedence over the companion spouse.”
-President Spencer W. Kimball
Conference Report, Oct. 1962, p. 57
What is True Love?
“If ye love me, keep my commandments’ and ‘If ye love me feed my sheep’ are God-given proclamations that should remind us we can often best show our love through the processes of feeding and keeping.” (Elder Marvin J. Ashton, 1975)
Characteristics of True Love
Doctrine & Covenants 42:22-23
How do “works of the flesh” contrast with walking “in the Spirit”?
Galatians 5:16, 17, 19
Galatians 5:22-23
“Keeping and Feeding”
“The young man who protects his sweetheart against all use or abuse, against insult and infamy from himself or others, could be expressing true love.” (President Spencer W. Kimball)
“Life is tough enough without having the person who is supposed to love you leading the assault on your self-esteem, your sense of dignity, your confidence, and your joy. In this person’s care you deserve to feel physically safe and emotionally secure.” (Elder Jeffery R. Holland, “How do I Love Thee”)
“Keeping and Feeding”
“Be quick to say, ‘I’m sorry.’ As hard as it is to form the words, be swift to say, ‘I apologize, and please forgive me,’ even though you are not the one who is totally at fault. True love is developed by those who are willing to readily admit personal mistakes and offenses.” (Elder Joe J. Christensen, 1995)
Quick talk
Turn to the person next to you and quickly make a list of things a couple can do keep and feed each other
To achieve an eternal marriage, couples must learn the difference between true love and its counterfeits.
“Satan promotes counterfeit love, which is lust…While camouflaged by flattering words, its motivation is self-gratification.” (Elder Richard G. Scott, 1991)
“The greatest deception foisted upon the human race in our day is that overemphasis of physical gratification as it is related to romantic love.” (Elder Boyd K. Packer)
To achieve an eternal marriage, couples must learn the difference between true love and its counterfeits.
“You cannot succeed in love if you keep one foot out on the bank for safety’s sake. The very nature of the endeavor requires that you hold on to each other as tightly as you can and jump in the pool together.” (Elder Jeffery R. Holland, “How do I Love Thee?”)
Worldly social exchange theory has placed the self and its’ gratification at the forefront.
“True love blooms when we care more about another person than we care about ourselves…[when we] think the best of each other, especially of those you say you love. [And] assume the good and doubt the bad” (Elder Jeffery R. Holland, “How do I Love Thee?”)
To achieve an eternal marriage, couples must learn the difference between true love and its counterfeits.
What role should physical attraction play in the selection of a mate?
Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.
(Romans 13:10)
What are some of the ways couples "work ill" to each other today?
What do we need to do to be “selfless” regarding physical attraction?
To achieve an eternal marriage, couples must learn the difference between true love and its counterfeits.
If we love anything more than God, how will it affect our love in courtship and marriage?
No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.
(Matthew 6:24)
Wherefore, I give unto them a commandment, saying thus: Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy might, mind, and strength; and in the name of Jesus Christ thou shalt serve him.
(D&C 59:5)
Commitment
“Without a strong commitment to the Lord, an individual is more prone to have a low level of commitment to a spouse. Weak commitments to eternal covenants lead to losses of eternal consequence.” (Elder Russell M. Nelson, Ensign, May 1997, 72)
“. . . Nothing except God Himself takes priority over your wife in your life—not work, not recreation, not hobbies . . . You cannot demean her, criticize her, find fault with her. . . Stay close to her, be loyal and faithful to her, communicate with her, and express your love for her.”
-President Ezra Taft Benson
Ensign, Nov. 1987, p. 50
To achieve an eternal marriage, couples must learn the difference between true love and its counterfeits.
Proper dating relationships can help us know who to marry.
Couples whose relationship progresses from friendship to steady dating eventually arrive at a crossroads. The relationship can:
Progress to engagement.
Regress to casual dating.
End.
How can we know what to do?
Issues of responsibility . . .
God vs me . . .
Elder Holland provides some counsel about developing love:
1 The ability to love is a gift
2 It is revealed by the way we treat each other
3 We can cultivate qualities that will help us
4 We participate in a “sacred trust” with our partner
We should follow the counsel of prophets and apostles as we date and decide who to marry.
"Be worthy of the mate you choose."
"Marry the right person in the right place at the right time."
"Choose a companion of your own faith. You are much more likely to be happy."
"Choose a companion you can always honor."
"Choose a companion … you can always respect."
"Choose a companion … who will complement you in your own life."
"Choose a companion … to whom you can give your entire heart, your entire love, your entire allegiance, your entire loyalty.“
(Gordon B. Hinckley, "Life's Obligations," Ensign, Feb. 1999, 2, 4)
The Law Of Chastity- Chastity Before Marriage
The Law Of Chastity
Chastity Before Marriage
THE LAW OF CHASTITY—First Presidency (Benson, Hinckley, Monson)
The First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles have stated, “We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102). This commandment is called the law of chastity. The Lord’s law of moral conduct is abstinence outside of lawful marriage and fidelity within marriage. Sexual relations are proper only between husband and wife appropriately expressed within the bonds of marriage. Any other sexual contact, including fornication, adultery, and homosexual and lesbian behavior, is sinful.
Imagine for one minute
A very busy intersection
You and a small child
The child breaks free to play in the intersection
What do you do?
Why?
Why not play in the street?
Naive and maybe arrogant
I did not get hurt.
I have seen others do it.
I am only hurting my self.
Why do you care?
What is society doing?
In terms of preoccupation with self and a fixation on the physical, this is more than social insanity; it is spiritually destructive, and it accounts for much of the unhappiness that women, including young women, face in the modern world.
The Anti-Chastity Culture
Human sexuality is presented in our culture as the driving force—if not the ultimate need—behind all human endeavor.
We live in a culture where the ideal of chastity has not only been lost, it invites ridicule.
Groups and organizations now actively treat sexuality as an inevitable part of adolescence, with mutual consent as the only legal measure of the activity.
Our children are now bombarded with false messages.
Happiness and peace of mind come from keeping our lives pure.
Great blessings come from obeying the law of chastity, and tragic consequences come from disobeying it.
Living other gospel principles helps us live the law of chastity.
Great blessings come from obeying the law of chastity, and tragic consequences come from disobeying it.
Obedience vs Disobedience
Answer the following two questions
What really happens to us spiritually when we obey?
What really happens to us spiritually when we disobey?
Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.
(2 Nephi 2:27)
Living other gospel principles helps us live the law of chastity.
What can we do to stay morally clean throughout our lives?
Scriptural suggestions . . .
This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.
(Galatians 5:16 - 17)
Living other gospel principles helps us live the law of chastity.
Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,
Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
(Galatians 5:19 - 21)
Living other gospel principles helps us live the law of chastity.
Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man:
But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.
Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.
(James 1:13 - 15)
Love vs. Lust
LOVE
Selfless
God is LOVE
LUST
Selfish
Satan is LUST
Living other gospel principles helps us live the law of chastity.
And now, my sons, I would that ye should look to the great Mediator, and hearken unto his great commandments; and be faithful unto his words, and choose eternal life, according to the will of his Holy Spirit;
And not choose eternal death, according to the will of the flesh and the evil which is therein, which giveth the spirit of the devil power to captivate, to bring you down to hell, that he may reign over you in his own kingdom.
(2 Nephi 2:28 - 29)
Living other gospel principles helps us live the law of chastity.
And they said unto me: What meaneth the rod of iron which our father saw, that led to the tree?
And I said unto them that it was the word of God; and whoso would hearken unto the word of God, and would hold fast unto it, they would never perish; neither could the temptations and the fiery darts of the adversary overpower them unto blindness, to lead them away to destruction.
(1 Nephi 15:23 - 24)
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland October, 2005 General Conference
I plead with you young women to please be more accepting of yourselves, including your body shape and style, with a little less longing to look like someone else. We are all different. Some are tall, and some are short. Some are round, and some are thin. And almost everyone at some time or other wants to be something they are not! (Ensign, November 2005, 28).
Elder Holland (con’t)
You are bombarded in movies, television, fashion magazines, and advertisements with the message that looks are everything! The pitch is, "If your looks are good enough, your life will be glamorous and you will be happy and popular." That kind of pressure is immense in the teenage years, to say nothing of later womanhood. In too many cases too much is being done to the human body to meet just such a fictional (to say nothing of superficial) standard. As one Hollywood actress is reported to have said recently: "We’ve become obsessed with beauty and the fountain of youth. . . . I’m really saddened by the way women mutilate [themselves] in search of that. I see women [including young women] . . . pulling this up and tucking that back. It’s like a slippery slope. [You can't get off of it.] . . . It’s really insane . . . what society is doing to women” (Ensign, November 2005, 28).
Elder Boyd K. Packer: “We have watched the standards of morality sink ever lower until now they are in a free-fall” (Ensign, Nov 1998, 22)
The Worlds Emphasis is Mostly on the External. What Does The Church’s Focus On?
Gospel Base: Being Moral Agents and Our Procreative Powers
We are offspring of God. Being human means we are capable of acting on the environment rather than being acted upon, and this ability must extend to the power to create life.
The quality of spirit of our procreative powers resides in the spirit, not in the body, and thus our sexual involvement is an expression of that spirit, and we are accountable for our actions, not mere victims of desires we can do nothing about.
When we turn our hearts to God our feelings can be transformed accordingly. We are not trapped by them. In the moment we are self-centered in our physical intimacies in marriage, we cheat ourselves of the emotions which attend self-forgetful loving.
Gospel Foundations of Chastity
Chastity and fidelity begin in the spirit, not in the body, and involve the giving of our hearts—our broken hearts, our softened hearts—to our mates unequivocally.
While unrepentant, the consequences of sexual sin can be found in the immediate relationship.
Unchastity, which the world holds out as an act of freedom, fulfillment, and need, is actually an act that enslaves, leaves us unfilled, and regarding “need,” proves to be unsatiable.
Elder Bruce C. Hafen
... [Have] reverence for life, and the life-giving powers of the human body ... during the time of courtship, always be emotionally honest in the expression of affection. Sometimes you are not as careful as you might be about when, how, and to whom you express your feelings of affection. You must realize that the desire to express affection can be motivated by things other than true love.
... In your courtships, even when you feel there is a growing foundation of true love, show your profound respect for that love and the possibilities of your life together by restraining your passions. Do not be deceived by the false notion that anything short of the sex act itself is acceptable conduct. That is a lie, not only because one step overpoweringly leads to another, but also because the handling of another’s body is in an important sense part of the sexual act that is kept holy by the sanctuary of chastity. If ever you are in doubt about where the line is between love and lust, draw the line toward the side of love. Nobody ever fell off a cliff who never went near one.
... Sometimes you may let someone take improper liberties with you, or you may indulge yourself in some practice that seems to bring temporary relief but only makes you feel worse in the long run. Some even make poor marriage choices, just to show the world that somebody will have them. Ultimately, however, only the Lord’s approval of your life really matters. (Purity While Dating "The Gospel and Romantic Love," Ensign, Oct. 1982, pp.64-67)
Elder Richard G. Scott
Within the enduring covenant of marriage, the Lord permits husband and wife the expression of the sacred procreative powers in all their loveliness and beauty within the bounds He has set. One purpose of this private, sacred, intimate experience is to provide the physical bodies for the spirits Father in Heaven wants to experience mortality. Another reason for these powerful and beautiful feelings of love is to bind husband and wife together in loyalty, fidelity, consideration of each other, and common purpose.
Any sexual intimacy outside of the bonds of marriage—I mean any intentional contact with the sacred, private parts of another’s body, with or without clothing—is a sin and is forbidden by God. It is also a transgression to intentionally stimulate these emotions within your own body. ... [Remember] that true love elevates, protects, respects, and enriches another. Purposes of Intimacy in Marriage “Making the Right Choices,” Conference Report, October 1994
“Before marriage, do not do anything to arouse the powerful emotions that must be expressed only in marriage. Do not participate in passionate kissing, lie on top of another person, or touch the private, sacred parts of another person’s body, with or without clothing. Do not allow anyone to do that with you. Do not arouse those emotions in your own body” (For the Strength of Youth [pamphlet, 2001], 27).
Pres. Hinckley: Same Sex Issues
“People inquire about our position on those who consider themselves so-called gays and lesbians. My response is that we love them as sons and daughters of God. They may have certain inclinations which are powerful and which may be difficult to control. Most people have inclinations of one kind or another at various times. If they do not act upon these inclinations, then they can go forward as do all other members of the Church. If they violate the law of chastity and the moral standards of the Church, then they are subject to the discipline of the Church, just as others are…
Pres Hinckley (con’t)
“We want to help these people, to strengthen them, to assist them with their problems and to help them with their difficulties. But we cannot stand idle if they indulge in immoral activity, if they try to uphold and defend and live in a so-called same-sex marriage situation. To permit such would be to make light of the very serious and sacred foundation of God-sanctioned marriage and its very purpose, the rearing of families” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1998, 91; or Ensign, Nov. 1998, 71).
Satan’s Role
Satan not only encourages us to dress immodestly, but he also encourages us to think immoral or improper thoughts. He does this with pictures, movies, stories, jokes, music, and dances that suggest immoral acts. The law of chastity requires that our thoughts as well as our actions be pure. The prophet Alma taught that when we are judged by God, “our thoughts will also condemn us; and in this awful state we shall not dare to look up to our God” (Alma 12:14). Satan sometimes tempts us through our emotions. He knows when we are lonely, confused, or depressed. He chooses this time of weakness to tempt us to break the law of chastity. Our Heavenly Father can give us the strength to pass through these trials unharmed.
President Gordon B. Hinckley warned:
“You live in a world of terrible temptations. Pornography, with its sleazy filth, sweeps over the earth like a horrible, engulfing tide. It is poison. Do not watch it or read it. It will destroy you if you do. It will take from you your self-respect. It will rob you of a sense of the beauties of life. It will tear you down and pull you into a slough of evil thoughts and possibly of evil actions. Stay away from it. Shun it as you would a foul disease, for it is just as deadly. Be virtuous in thought and in deed. God has planted in you, for a purpose, a divine urge which may be easily subverted to evil and destructive ends. When you are young, do not get involved in steady dating. When you reach an age where you think of marriage, then is the time to become so involved. But you boys who are in high school don’t need this, and neither do the girls” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1997, 71–72; or Ensign, Nov. 1997, 51).
Scriptures
Paul taught, “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it” (1 Corinthians 10:13). Alma emphasized that we will “not be tempted above that which [we] can bear” as we “humble [ourselves] before the Lord, and call on his holy name, and watch and pray continually” (Alma 13:28).
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland –Why Sexual Purity Is So Important!! “OF SOULS, SYMBOLS, AND SACRAEMENTS”
1. Our spirit and body make up our soul
2. Chastity and Fidelity are symbols of unity, commitment, and total union.
3. Sexual intimacy is a symbolic union between mortals and deity—a sacrament.
Soul
Our soul is our spirit + our body
I Corinthians 6:13-20
If you “toy” with someone's body you toy with their soul which really belongs to Christ
Our souls were bought with a “price” – the blood of Jesus
Therefore, when you mock the body you mock the atonement
Alma 39:17 – The worth of souls
Alma 40:9 – There is a time appointed
Alma 40:21 – Happiness or misery for your soul between death and resurrection
Symbol
A symbol of total union
Sealing - Welding
A symbol of total commitment, a complete union
“The package deal”
Sexual fragmentation
Psychologically damaging
Counterfeit intimacy
Held accountable
You can not pretend to be one by sharing the physical and flee that which is meant to be a total union
Alma 41:9 “…do not risk one more offense…”
Alma 41:10 “…wickedness never was happiness”
Sexual fragmentation and Counterfeit intimacy
Alma 41:11 “…contrary to the nature of happiness.”
Sacrament
A sacrament is anything that binds us to God and allows us to feel His power.
Intimacy is not just a union between a man and a woman, but also with God.
Intimacy between a man and a woman make them very much like God.
Intimacy between a man and a woman is taking a claim on Gods’ power.
Alma 42:6-7 “…lost forever, yea, cut off both temporally and spiritually”
Alma 42:9 “…it was expedient that mankind should be reclaimed…”
Alma 42:15 “…God himself atoneth for the sins of the world…”
Alma 42:27 Come and participate in the covenants offered by God.
OF SOULS, SYMBOLS, AND SACRAEMENTS
WHY IS THIS (Chastity) SUCH AN IMPORTANT ISSUE FROM AN ETERNAL PERSPECTIVE?
WHY SHOULD WE BE MORALLY CLEAN?
Elder Boyd K. Packer
“We declare that one who uses the God-given body of another without divine sanction abuses the very soul of that individual, abuses the central purpose and processes of life— ‘the very key’ to life.”
President Ezra Taft Benson-- Six Steps to Prepare and Prevent
Decide now to be chaste.
Control your thoughts.
Always pray for the power to resist temptation.
If you are married, avoid flirtations of any kind.
If you are married, avoid being alone with members of the opposite sex whenever possible.
For those who are single and dating members of the opposite sex, carefully plan positive and constructive activities so that you are not left to yourselves with nothing to do but share physical affection.
President Ezra Taft Benson-- Five Steps to Repair and Repent
Flee immediately from any situation you are in that is either causing you to sin or that may cause you to sin.
Plead with the Lord for the power to overcome.
Let your priesthood leaders help you resolve the transgression and come back into full fellowship with the Lord.
Drink from the divine fountain and fill your lives with positive sources of power.
Remember that through proper repentance you can become clean again.
Elder Holland
“(The) Penalty (for being unchaste) may not come on the precise day of transgression, but it comes surely and certainly enough. And unless there is true repentance and obedience to a merciful god, then someday, somewhere, the morally cavalier and unclean will… (be) tormented…”
Elder Holland
“(for those that need to repent) to you is extended the peace and renewal of repentance available through the atoning sacrifice of the Lord Jesus Christ…The path of repentance is not easily begun nor painlessly traveled. But the Savior of the world will walk the essential journey with you. He will strengthen you when you waver…”
Elder Boyd K. Packer
Now, in a spirit of sympathy and love, I speak to you who may be struggling against temptations for which there is no moral expression. Some have resisted temptation but never seem to be free from it. Do not yield! Cultivate the spiritual strength to resist—all of your life, if need be. Some are tortured by thoughts of covenants already forsaken and sometimes think of suicide. Suicide is no solution at all. Do not even think of it. The very fact that you are so disturbed marks you as a spiritually sensitive soul for whom there is great hope. You may wonder why God does not seem to hear your pleading prayers and erase these temptations. When you know the gospel plan, you will understand that the conditions of our mortal probation require that we be left to choose. That test is the purpose of life. While these addictions may have devoured, for a time, your sense of morality or quenched the spirit within you, it is never too late. You may not be able, simply by choice, to free yourself at once from unworthy feelings. You can choose to give up the immoral expression of them.
Elder Boyd K. Packer (con’t)
The suffering you endure from resisting or from leaving a life-style of addiction or perversion is not a hundredth part of that suffered by your parents, your spouse or your children, if you give up. Theirs is an innocent suffering because they love you. To keep resisting or to withdraw from such a life-style is an act of genuine unselfishness, a sacrifice you place on the altar of obedience. It will bring enormous spiritual rewards. Remember that agency, that freedom of choice that you demanded when you forsook your covenants? That same agency can now be drawn upon to exert a great spiritual power of redemption. The love we offer may be a tough love, but it is of the purest kind; and we have more to offer than our love. We can teach you of the cleansing power of repentance. If covenants have been broken, however hard it may be, they may be reinstated, and you can be forgiven. Even for abortion? Yes, even that! ( Resisting Unworthy Feelings and Temptations, Ensign, November 1990)
President Kimball said:
“To every forgiveness there is a condition. … The fasting, the prayers, the humility must be equal to or greater than the sin. There must be a broken heart and a contrite spirit. … There must be tears and genuine change of heart. There must be conviction of the sin, abandonment of the evil, confession of the error to properly constituted authorities of the Lord.. Even though forgiveness is so abundantly promised there is no promise nor indication of forgiveness to any soul who does not totally repent. … We can hardly be too forceful in reminding people that they cannot sin and be forgiven and then sin again and again and expect repeated forgiveness” (The Miracle of Forgiveness [1969], 353, 360). Those who receive forgiveness and then repeat the sin are held accountable for their former sins (see D&C 82:7; Ether 2:15).
Guidelines For Dating (adapted from Lewis Church-Orem Institute of Religion)
Human intimacy is God’s gift to the married.
Never go into a house, apartment or bedroom alone with someone of the opposite sex.
Do not neck or pet
No back rubs
No French kissing
Dress, speak and act modestly
Do not park
Chastity (Con’t)
8. Avoid anything which simulates sexual intimacy
9. Attend only wholesome, uplifting activities
10. Do not date individuals with a known “bad reputation”
11. No late hours
12. Get wholesome exercise
13. Each partner should be responsible for his/her own actions
Chastity (con’t)
14. Discuss dating rules with partners
15. Use wisdom and common sense
16. Do not think that you are the exception to these (or other) rules
17. Get help from the Lord to know yourself and your weaknesses
18. Memorize this RULE OF THREE TO KEEP YOURSELF SAFE
Don’t be alone together
In stationary positions
For long periods of time
Chastity Before Marriage
THE LAW OF CHASTITY—First Presidency (Benson, Hinckley, Monson)
The First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles have stated, “We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102). This commandment is called the law of chastity. The Lord’s law of moral conduct is abstinence outside of lawful marriage and fidelity within marriage. Sexual relations are proper only between husband and wife appropriately expressed within the bonds of marriage. Any other sexual contact, including fornication, adultery, and homosexual and lesbian behavior, is sinful.
Imagine for one minute
A very busy intersection
You and a small child
The child breaks free to play in the intersection
What do you do?
Why?
Why not play in the street?
Naive and maybe arrogant
I did not get hurt.
I have seen others do it.
I am only hurting my self.
Why do you care?
What is society doing?
In terms of preoccupation with self and a fixation on the physical, this is more than social insanity; it is spiritually destructive, and it accounts for much of the unhappiness that women, including young women, face in the modern world.
The Anti-Chastity Culture
Human sexuality is presented in our culture as the driving force—if not the ultimate need—behind all human endeavor.
We live in a culture where the ideal of chastity has not only been lost, it invites ridicule.
Groups and organizations now actively treat sexuality as an inevitable part of adolescence, with mutual consent as the only legal measure of the activity.
Our children are now bombarded with false messages.
Happiness and peace of mind come from keeping our lives pure.
Great blessings come from obeying the law of chastity, and tragic consequences come from disobeying it.
Living other gospel principles helps us live the law of chastity.
Great blessings come from obeying the law of chastity, and tragic consequences come from disobeying it.
Obedience vs Disobedience
Answer the following two questions
What really happens to us spiritually when we obey?
What really happens to us spiritually when we disobey?
Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.
(2 Nephi 2:27)
Living other gospel principles helps us live the law of chastity.
What can we do to stay morally clean throughout our lives?
Scriptural suggestions . . .
This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.
(Galatians 5:16 - 17)
Living other gospel principles helps us live the law of chastity.
Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,
Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
(Galatians 5:19 - 21)
Living other gospel principles helps us live the law of chastity.
Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man:
But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.
Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.
(James 1:13 - 15)
Love vs. Lust
LOVE
Selfless
God is LOVE
LUST
Selfish
Satan is LUST
Living other gospel principles helps us live the law of chastity.
And now, my sons, I would that ye should look to the great Mediator, and hearken unto his great commandments; and be faithful unto his words, and choose eternal life, according to the will of his Holy Spirit;
And not choose eternal death, according to the will of the flesh and the evil which is therein, which giveth the spirit of the devil power to captivate, to bring you down to hell, that he may reign over you in his own kingdom.
(2 Nephi 2:28 - 29)
Living other gospel principles helps us live the law of chastity.
And they said unto me: What meaneth the rod of iron which our father saw, that led to the tree?
And I said unto them that it was the word of God; and whoso would hearken unto the word of God, and would hold fast unto it, they would never perish; neither could the temptations and the fiery darts of the adversary overpower them unto blindness, to lead them away to destruction.
(1 Nephi 15:23 - 24)
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland October, 2005 General Conference
I plead with you young women to please be more accepting of yourselves, including your body shape and style, with a little less longing to look like someone else. We are all different. Some are tall, and some are short. Some are round, and some are thin. And almost everyone at some time or other wants to be something they are not! (Ensign, November 2005, 28).
Elder Holland (con’t)
You are bombarded in movies, television, fashion magazines, and advertisements with the message that looks are everything! The pitch is, "If your looks are good enough, your life will be glamorous and you will be happy and popular." That kind of pressure is immense in the teenage years, to say nothing of later womanhood. In too many cases too much is being done to the human body to meet just such a fictional (to say nothing of superficial) standard. As one Hollywood actress is reported to have said recently: "We’ve become obsessed with beauty and the fountain of youth. . . . I’m really saddened by the way women mutilate [themselves] in search of that. I see women [including young women] . . . pulling this up and tucking that back. It’s like a slippery slope. [You can't get off of it.] . . . It’s really insane . . . what society is doing to women” (Ensign, November 2005, 28).
Elder Boyd K. Packer: “We have watched the standards of morality sink ever lower until now they are in a free-fall” (Ensign, Nov 1998, 22)
The Worlds Emphasis is Mostly on the External. What Does The Church’s Focus On?
Gospel Base: Being Moral Agents and Our Procreative Powers
We are offspring of God. Being human means we are capable of acting on the environment rather than being acted upon, and this ability must extend to the power to create life.
The quality of spirit of our procreative powers resides in the spirit, not in the body, and thus our sexual involvement is an expression of that spirit, and we are accountable for our actions, not mere victims of desires we can do nothing about.
When we turn our hearts to God our feelings can be transformed accordingly. We are not trapped by them. In the moment we are self-centered in our physical intimacies in marriage, we cheat ourselves of the emotions which attend self-forgetful loving.
Gospel Foundations of Chastity
Chastity and fidelity begin in the spirit, not in the body, and involve the giving of our hearts—our broken hearts, our softened hearts—to our mates unequivocally.
While unrepentant, the consequences of sexual sin can be found in the immediate relationship.
Unchastity, which the world holds out as an act of freedom, fulfillment, and need, is actually an act that enslaves, leaves us unfilled, and regarding “need,” proves to be unsatiable.
Elder Bruce C. Hafen
... [Have] reverence for life, and the life-giving powers of the human body ... during the time of courtship, always be emotionally honest in the expression of affection. Sometimes you are not as careful as you might be about when, how, and to whom you express your feelings of affection. You must realize that the desire to express affection can be motivated by things other than true love.
... In your courtships, even when you feel there is a growing foundation of true love, show your profound respect for that love and the possibilities of your life together by restraining your passions. Do not be deceived by the false notion that anything short of the sex act itself is acceptable conduct. That is a lie, not only because one step overpoweringly leads to another, but also because the handling of another’s body is in an important sense part of the sexual act that is kept holy by the sanctuary of chastity. If ever you are in doubt about where the line is between love and lust, draw the line toward the side of love. Nobody ever fell off a cliff who never went near one.
... Sometimes you may let someone take improper liberties with you, or you may indulge yourself in some practice that seems to bring temporary relief but only makes you feel worse in the long run. Some even make poor marriage choices, just to show the world that somebody will have them. Ultimately, however, only the Lord’s approval of your life really matters. (Purity While Dating "The Gospel and Romantic Love," Ensign, Oct. 1982, pp.64-67)
Elder Richard G. Scott
Within the enduring covenant of marriage, the Lord permits husband and wife the expression of the sacred procreative powers in all their loveliness and beauty within the bounds He has set. One purpose of this private, sacred, intimate experience is to provide the physical bodies for the spirits Father in Heaven wants to experience mortality. Another reason for these powerful and beautiful feelings of love is to bind husband and wife together in loyalty, fidelity, consideration of each other, and common purpose.
Any sexual intimacy outside of the bonds of marriage—I mean any intentional contact with the sacred, private parts of another’s body, with or without clothing—is a sin and is forbidden by God. It is also a transgression to intentionally stimulate these emotions within your own body. ... [Remember] that true love elevates, protects, respects, and enriches another. Purposes of Intimacy in Marriage “Making the Right Choices,” Conference Report, October 1994
“Before marriage, do not do anything to arouse the powerful emotions that must be expressed only in marriage. Do not participate in passionate kissing, lie on top of another person, or touch the private, sacred parts of another person’s body, with or without clothing. Do not allow anyone to do that with you. Do not arouse those emotions in your own body” (For the Strength of Youth [pamphlet, 2001], 27).
Pres. Hinckley: Same Sex Issues
“People inquire about our position on those who consider themselves so-called gays and lesbians. My response is that we love them as sons and daughters of God. They may have certain inclinations which are powerful and which may be difficult to control. Most people have inclinations of one kind or another at various times. If they do not act upon these inclinations, then they can go forward as do all other members of the Church. If they violate the law of chastity and the moral standards of the Church, then they are subject to the discipline of the Church, just as others are…
Pres Hinckley (con’t)
“We want to help these people, to strengthen them, to assist them with their problems and to help them with their difficulties. But we cannot stand idle if they indulge in immoral activity, if they try to uphold and defend and live in a so-called same-sex marriage situation. To permit such would be to make light of the very serious and sacred foundation of God-sanctioned marriage and its very purpose, the rearing of families” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1998, 91; or Ensign, Nov. 1998, 71).
Satan’s Role
Satan not only encourages us to dress immodestly, but he also encourages us to think immoral or improper thoughts. He does this with pictures, movies, stories, jokes, music, and dances that suggest immoral acts. The law of chastity requires that our thoughts as well as our actions be pure. The prophet Alma taught that when we are judged by God, “our thoughts will also condemn us; and in this awful state we shall not dare to look up to our God” (Alma 12:14). Satan sometimes tempts us through our emotions. He knows when we are lonely, confused, or depressed. He chooses this time of weakness to tempt us to break the law of chastity. Our Heavenly Father can give us the strength to pass through these trials unharmed.
President Gordon B. Hinckley warned:
“You live in a world of terrible temptations. Pornography, with its sleazy filth, sweeps over the earth like a horrible, engulfing tide. It is poison. Do not watch it or read it. It will destroy you if you do. It will take from you your self-respect. It will rob you of a sense of the beauties of life. It will tear you down and pull you into a slough of evil thoughts and possibly of evil actions. Stay away from it. Shun it as you would a foul disease, for it is just as deadly. Be virtuous in thought and in deed. God has planted in you, for a purpose, a divine urge which may be easily subverted to evil and destructive ends. When you are young, do not get involved in steady dating. When you reach an age where you think of marriage, then is the time to become so involved. But you boys who are in high school don’t need this, and neither do the girls” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1997, 71–72; or Ensign, Nov. 1997, 51).
Scriptures
Paul taught, “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it” (1 Corinthians 10:13). Alma emphasized that we will “not be tempted above that which [we] can bear” as we “humble [ourselves] before the Lord, and call on his holy name, and watch and pray continually” (Alma 13:28).
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland –Why Sexual Purity Is So Important!! “OF SOULS, SYMBOLS, AND SACRAEMENTS”
1. Our spirit and body make up our soul
2. Chastity and Fidelity are symbols of unity, commitment, and total union.
3. Sexual intimacy is a symbolic union between mortals and deity—a sacrament.
Soul
Our soul is our spirit + our body
I Corinthians 6:13-20
If you “toy” with someone's body you toy with their soul which really belongs to Christ
Our souls were bought with a “price” – the blood of Jesus
Therefore, when you mock the body you mock the atonement
Alma 39:17 – The worth of souls
Alma 40:9 – There is a time appointed
Alma 40:21 – Happiness or misery for your soul between death and resurrection
Symbol
A symbol of total union
Sealing - Welding
A symbol of total commitment, a complete union
“The package deal”
Sexual fragmentation
Psychologically damaging
Counterfeit intimacy
Held accountable
You can not pretend to be one by sharing the physical and flee that which is meant to be a total union
Alma 41:9 “…do not risk one more offense…”
Alma 41:10 “…wickedness never was happiness”
Sexual fragmentation and Counterfeit intimacy
Alma 41:11 “…contrary to the nature of happiness.”
Sacrament
A sacrament is anything that binds us to God and allows us to feel His power.
Intimacy is not just a union between a man and a woman, but also with God.
Intimacy between a man and a woman make them very much like God.
Intimacy between a man and a woman is taking a claim on Gods’ power.
Alma 42:6-7 “…lost forever, yea, cut off both temporally and spiritually”
Alma 42:9 “…it was expedient that mankind should be reclaimed…”
Alma 42:15 “…God himself atoneth for the sins of the world…”
Alma 42:27 Come and participate in the covenants offered by God.
OF SOULS, SYMBOLS, AND SACRAEMENTS
WHY IS THIS (Chastity) SUCH AN IMPORTANT ISSUE FROM AN ETERNAL PERSPECTIVE?
WHY SHOULD WE BE MORALLY CLEAN?
Elder Boyd K. Packer
“We declare that one who uses the God-given body of another without divine sanction abuses the very soul of that individual, abuses the central purpose and processes of life— ‘the very key’ to life.”
President Ezra Taft Benson-- Six Steps to Prepare and Prevent
Decide now to be chaste.
Control your thoughts.
Always pray for the power to resist temptation.
If you are married, avoid flirtations of any kind.
If you are married, avoid being alone with members of the opposite sex whenever possible.
For those who are single and dating members of the opposite sex, carefully plan positive and constructive activities so that you are not left to yourselves with nothing to do but share physical affection.
President Ezra Taft Benson-- Five Steps to Repair and Repent
Flee immediately from any situation you are in that is either causing you to sin or that may cause you to sin.
Plead with the Lord for the power to overcome.
Let your priesthood leaders help you resolve the transgression and come back into full fellowship with the Lord.
Drink from the divine fountain and fill your lives with positive sources of power.
Remember that through proper repentance you can become clean again.
Elder Holland
“(The) Penalty (for being unchaste) may not come on the precise day of transgression, but it comes surely and certainly enough. And unless there is true repentance and obedience to a merciful god, then someday, somewhere, the morally cavalier and unclean will… (be) tormented…”
Elder Holland
“(for those that need to repent) to you is extended the peace and renewal of repentance available through the atoning sacrifice of the Lord Jesus Christ…The path of repentance is not easily begun nor painlessly traveled. But the Savior of the world will walk the essential journey with you. He will strengthen you when you waver…”
Elder Boyd K. Packer
Now, in a spirit of sympathy and love, I speak to you who may be struggling against temptations for which there is no moral expression. Some have resisted temptation but never seem to be free from it. Do not yield! Cultivate the spiritual strength to resist—all of your life, if need be. Some are tortured by thoughts of covenants already forsaken and sometimes think of suicide. Suicide is no solution at all. Do not even think of it. The very fact that you are so disturbed marks you as a spiritually sensitive soul for whom there is great hope. You may wonder why God does not seem to hear your pleading prayers and erase these temptations. When you know the gospel plan, you will understand that the conditions of our mortal probation require that we be left to choose. That test is the purpose of life. While these addictions may have devoured, for a time, your sense of morality or quenched the spirit within you, it is never too late. You may not be able, simply by choice, to free yourself at once from unworthy feelings. You can choose to give up the immoral expression of them.
Elder Boyd K. Packer (con’t)
The suffering you endure from resisting or from leaving a life-style of addiction or perversion is not a hundredth part of that suffered by your parents, your spouse or your children, if you give up. Theirs is an innocent suffering because they love you. To keep resisting or to withdraw from such a life-style is an act of genuine unselfishness, a sacrifice you place on the altar of obedience. It will bring enormous spiritual rewards. Remember that agency, that freedom of choice that you demanded when you forsook your covenants? That same agency can now be drawn upon to exert a great spiritual power of redemption. The love we offer may be a tough love, but it is of the purest kind; and we have more to offer than our love. We can teach you of the cleansing power of repentance. If covenants have been broken, however hard it may be, they may be reinstated, and you can be forgiven. Even for abortion? Yes, even that! ( Resisting Unworthy Feelings and Temptations, Ensign, November 1990)
President Kimball said:
“To every forgiveness there is a condition. … The fasting, the prayers, the humility must be equal to or greater than the sin. There must be a broken heart and a contrite spirit. … There must be tears and genuine change of heart. There must be conviction of the sin, abandonment of the evil, confession of the error to properly constituted authorities of the Lord.. Even though forgiveness is so abundantly promised there is no promise nor indication of forgiveness to any soul who does not totally repent. … We can hardly be too forceful in reminding people that they cannot sin and be forgiven and then sin again and again and expect repeated forgiveness” (The Miracle of Forgiveness [1969], 353, 360). Those who receive forgiveness and then repeat the sin are held accountable for their former sins (see D&C 82:7; Ether 2:15).
Guidelines For Dating (adapted from Lewis Church-Orem Institute of Religion)
Human intimacy is God’s gift to the married.
Never go into a house, apartment or bedroom alone with someone of the opposite sex.
Do not neck or pet
No back rubs
No French kissing
Dress, speak and act modestly
Do not park
Chastity (Con’t)
8. Avoid anything which simulates sexual intimacy
9. Attend only wholesome, uplifting activities
10. Do not date individuals with a known “bad reputation”
11. No late hours
12. Get wholesome exercise
13. Each partner should be responsible for his/her own actions
Chastity (con’t)
14. Discuss dating rules with partners
15. Use wisdom and common sense
16. Do not think that you are the exception to these (or other) rules
17. Get help from the Lord to know yourself and your weaknesses
18. Memorize this RULE OF THREE TO KEEP YOURSELF SAFE
Don’t be alone together
In stationary positions
For long periods of time
THE LORD'S STANDARDS FOR DATING
THE LORD'S STANDARDS FOR DATING
Following the Lord's standards results in greater happiness and protection.
The Lord has given us dating standards for our peace of mind, protection, and happiness.
We need to know and follow the Lord's standards for dating.
Many fun dating activities are in harmony with the Lord's standards.
Following the Lord's standards results in greater happiness and protection.
Are tennis players in the middle of a match allowed to decide the size of the court?
Do the players get to decide the boundaries of the court just prior to a match?
Do the players get to change the rules after the game has begun?
How could the lines in tennis be compared to the standards the Lord has set for expressing physical affection in dating?
In what ways can these standards from the Lord bring us peace of mind, happiness, and protection?
Following the Lord's standards results in greater happiness and protection.
"I make you a promise that God will not forsake you if you will walk in His paths with the guidance of His commandments"
Gordon B. Hinckley, "A Prophet's Counsel and Prayer for Youth," Ensign, Jan. 2001, 2.
We need to know and follow the Lord's standards for dating.
What are “standards?”
"Standards are rules or guidelines given to help you measure your conduct. Why has the Lord given standards? He wants all his children to return to live with him one day. However, he knows that only those who are worthy will be able to live with him. Standards help you know how well you are preparing to live with your Father in Heaven.
Your entire lives on earth are intended to give you the opportunity to learn to choose good over evil, service over selfishness, kindness and thoughtfulness over self-indulgence and personal gratification. By comparing your behavior and thoughts with your Father's standards, you are in a better position to govern yourselves and make the right choices. God's commandments (standards) are constant, unwavering, and dependable. As you adhere to them, you will receive countless blessings from heaven—including the gift of eternal life"
For the Strength of Youth, [First Edition1990], 6).
We need to know and follow the Lord's standards for dating.
Do you need to change any of your dating standards?
How are dating standards related to happiness?
Who should you date?
President Spencer W. Kimball
“Soul mates’ are fiction and an illusion; …every young man and young woman (should) seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful..” (Ensign, March 1977, 4)
We need to know and follow the Lord's standards for dating.
Many fun dating activities are in harmony with the Lord's standards.
Dating handout . . .
Write in the right-hand column of the chart your top three choices of dating activities for each characteristic.
What value would each of these characteristics have in a marriage and family?
Which dating activities did you choose most often? Why?
Which dating activities did you choose least often or not at all? Why?
What other dating activities might help couples learn about each other's integrity, manners, regard for the gospel, and so on?
In what ways could the activities you chose allow couples to discover each other's standards?
Why is it important to learn about your date's standards?
Many fun dating activities are in harmony with the Lord's standards.
What are some of the most fun dates you have experienced or heard about?
What experiences have taught you the most about your date?
What suggestions do you have for after-marriage dating?
The importance of shared activity
Aron and Aron (1997), describe the importance of shared activity – and in particular exciting shared activity – in the process of developing love, especially those that involve high levels of physical activity (dancing, hiking, bicycling) or newness and exoticness (attending concerts or studying nature).
Elder Oaks The Dedication of a Lifetime
CES Fireside May 2005
Hanging out consists of numbers of young men and numbers of young women joining together in some group activity. It is very different from dating.
Dating is pairing off to experience the kind of one-on-one association and temporary commitment that can lead to marriage, in some rare and treasured cases.
What has made dating an endangered species?
1. The cultural tides in our world run strongly against commitments in family relationships.
Dating involves commitments, if only for a few hours. Hanging out requires no commitments, at least not for the men if the women provide the food and shelter.
Endangered (continued)
2. The leveling effect of the women’s movement has contributed to discourage dating. As women’s options have increased and some have become more aggressive, some men have become reluctant to take traditional male initiatives, such as asking for dates, lest they be thought to qualify for the dreaded label “male chauvinist.”
Endangered (continued)
Hanging out is glamorized on TV programs about singles.
The meaning and significance of a “date” has also changed in such a way as to price dating out of the market. As dates become fewer and more elaborate, this seems to create an expectation that a date implies seriousness or continuing commitment.
What should we do?
Simple and more frequent dates allow both men and women to “shop around” in a way that allows extensive evaluation of the prospects.
The old-fashioned date was a wonderful way to get acquainted with a member of the opposite sex. It encouraged conversation. It allowed you to see how you treat others and how you are treated in a one-on-one situation. It gave opportunities to learn how to initiate and sustain a mature relationship. None of that happens in hanging out.
Counsel to the “man”
Men, if you have returned from your mission and you are still following the boy-girl patterns you were counseled to follow when you were 15, it is time for you to grow up. Gather your courage and look for someone to pair off with. Start with a variety of dates with a variety of young women, and when that phase yields a good prospect, proceed to courtship. It’s marriage time.
Counsel to the “woman”
Young women, resist too much hanging out, and encourage dates that are simple, inexpensive, and frequent. Don’t make it easy for young men to hang out in a setting where you women provide the food. Don’t subsidize freeloaders. An occasional group activity is okay, but when you see men who make hanging out their primary interaction with the opposite sex, I think you should lock the pantry and bolt the front door.
Please make it easier for these shy males to ask for a simple, inexpensive date.
What is a date?
A “date” must pass the test of three p’s:
(1) planned ahead
(2) paid for
(3) paired off.
Parting shot
My single young friends, we counsel you to channel your associations with the opposite sex into dating patterns that have the potential to mature into marriage, not hanging-out patterns that only have the prospect to mature into team sports like touch football. Marriage is not a group activity—at least not until the children come along in goodly numbers (“The Dedication of a Lifetime,” CES Fireside, May 1, 2005, Oakland, California).
Questions to Ask and Discuss of Both Young Men & Young Women
Dress
Makeup
Manners
Women asking for a date?
Education
Parents
Other
Following the Lord's standards results in greater happiness and protection.
The Lord has given us dating standards for our peace of mind, protection, and happiness.
We need to know and follow the Lord's standards for dating.
Many fun dating activities are in harmony with the Lord's standards.
Following the Lord's standards results in greater happiness and protection.
Are tennis players in the middle of a match allowed to decide the size of the court?
Do the players get to decide the boundaries of the court just prior to a match?
Do the players get to change the rules after the game has begun?
How could the lines in tennis be compared to the standards the Lord has set for expressing physical affection in dating?
In what ways can these standards from the Lord bring us peace of mind, happiness, and protection?
Following the Lord's standards results in greater happiness and protection.
"I make you a promise that God will not forsake you if you will walk in His paths with the guidance of His commandments"
Gordon B. Hinckley, "A Prophet's Counsel and Prayer for Youth," Ensign, Jan. 2001, 2.
We need to know and follow the Lord's standards for dating.
What are “standards?”
"Standards are rules or guidelines given to help you measure your conduct. Why has the Lord given standards? He wants all his children to return to live with him one day. However, he knows that only those who are worthy will be able to live with him. Standards help you know how well you are preparing to live with your Father in Heaven.
Your entire lives on earth are intended to give you the opportunity to learn to choose good over evil, service over selfishness, kindness and thoughtfulness over self-indulgence and personal gratification. By comparing your behavior and thoughts with your Father's standards, you are in a better position to govern yourselves and make the right choices. God's commandments (standards) are constant, unwavering, and dependable. As you adhere to them, you will receive countless blessings from heaven—including the gift of eternal life"
For the Strength of Youth, [First Edition1990], 6).
We need to know and follow the Lord's standards for dating.
Do you need to change any of your dating standards?
How are dating standards related to happiness?
Who should you date?
President Spencer W. Kimball
“Soul mates’ are fiction and an illusion; …every young man and young woman (should) seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful..” (Ensign, March 1977, 4)
We need to know and follow the Lord's standards for dating.
Many fun dating activities are in harmony with the Lord's standards.
Dating handout . . .
Write in the right-hand column of the chart your top three choices of dating activities for each characteristic.
What value would each of these characteristics have in a marriage and family?
Which dating activities did you choose most often? Why?
Which dating activities did you choose least often or not at all? Why?
What other dating activities might help couples learn about each other's integrity, manners, regard for the gospel, and so on?
In what ways could the activities you chose allow couples to discover each other's standards?
Why is it important to learn about your date's standards?
Many fun dating activities are in harmony with the Lord's standards.
What are some of the most fun dates you have experienced or heard about?
What experiences have taught you the most about your date?
What suggestions do you have for after-marriage dating?
The importance of shared activity
Aron and Aron (1997), describe the importance of shared activity – and in particular exciting shared activity – in the process of developing love, especially those that involve high levels of physical activity (dancing, hiking, bicycling) or newness and exoticness (attending concerts or studying nature).
Elder Oaks The Dedication of a Lifetime
CES Fireside May 2005
Hanging out consists of numbers of young men and numbers of young women joining together in some group activity. It is very different from dating.
Dating is pairing off to experience the kind of one-on-one association and temporary commitment that can lead to marriage, in some rare and treasured cases.
What has made dating an endangered species?
1. The cultural tides in our world run strongly against commitments in family relationships.
Dating involves commitments, if only for a few hours. Hanging out requires no commitments, at least not for the men if the women provide the food and shelter.
Endangered (continued)
2. The leveling effect of the women’s movement has contributed to discourage dating. As women’s options have increased and some have become more aggressive, some men have become reluctant to take traditional male initiatives, such as asking for dates, lest they be thought to qualify for the dreaded label “male chauvinist.”
Endangered (continued)
Hanging out is glamorized on TV programs about singles.
The meaning and significance of a “date” has also changed in such a way as to price dating out of the market. As dates become fewer and more elaborate, this seems to create an expectation that a date implies seriousness or continuing commitment.
What should we do?
Simple and more frequent dates allow both men and women to “shop around” in a way that allows extensive evaluation of the prospects.
The old-fashioned date was a wonderful way to get acquainted with a member of the opposite sex. It encouraged conversation. It allowed you to see how you treat others and how you are treated in a one-on-one situation. It gave opportunities to learn how to initiate and sustain a mature relationship. None of that happens in hanging out.
Counsel to the “man”
Men, if you have returned from your mission and you are still following the boy-girl patterns you were counseled to follow when you were 15, it is time for you to grow up. Gather your courage and look for someone to pair off with. Start with a variety of dates with a variety of young women, and when that phase yields a good prospect, proceed to courtship. It’s marriage time.
Counsel to the “woman”
Young women, resist too much hanging out, and encourage dates that are simple, inexpensive, and frequent. Don’t make it easy for young men to hang out in a setting where you women provide the food. Don’t subsidize freeloaders. An occasional group activity is okay, but when you see men who make hanging out their primary interaction with the opposite sex, I think you should lock the pantry and bolt the front door.
Please make it easier for these shy males to ask for a simple, inexpensive date.
What is a date?
A “date” must pass the test of three p’s:
(1) planned ahead
(2) paid for
(3) paired off.
Parting shot
My single young friends, we counsel you to channel your associations with the opposite sex into dating patterns that have the potential to mature into marriage, not hanging-out patterns that only have the prospect to mature into team sports like touch football. Marriage is not a group activity—at least not until the children come along in goodly numbers (“The Dedication of a Lifetime,” CES Fireside, May 1, 2005, Oakland, California).
Questions to Ask and Discuss of Both Young Men & Young Women
Dress
Makeup
Manners
Women asking for a date?
Education
Parents
Other
The New and Everlasting Covenant of Marriage
The New and Everlasting Covenant of Marriage
President Gordon B. Hinckley: “The most important step you have made or will make in your life is marriage. Its consequences are many, so important and so everlasting. No other decision will have such tremendous consequences for the future” (BYU Commencement, April 27, 1995. Church News, Sept. 30, 1995, 2).
READ D&C 131:1-4
What is the New and Everlasting Covenant??
The marriage covenant had, for many centuries, been considered valid only ‘till death doth us part’; now a new covenant was about to be revealed, which would cover both eternity and time. It would be everlasting as well as new. It is new; and yet, it is as old as the gospel. It is as old as the plan of salvation adopted in the Council of Heaven, before the foundations of the world were laid…It is part of that plan, that covenant, of which Jesus Christ is the Representative and Mediator” (Hyrum M. Smith and Jane M. Sjodahl, The doctrine and Covenants Commentary, rev. ed. (1972), 822).
Joseph Fielding Smith
“The new and everlasting covenant…is everything – the fullness of the gospel. So marriage properly performed, baptism, ordination to the priesthood, everything else – every contract, every obligation, every performance that pertains to the gospel of Jesus Christ, which is sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise according to his law…, is part of the new and everlasting covenant… Therefore, all who seek a place in the kingdom of God are under the obligation and commandment to abide in the new and everlasting covenant, which is the fullness of the gospel with all of its rites, covenant, gifts, and obligations.” (Doctrines of Salvation, 1954-1956, 1: 158-59)
Elder Robert D. Hales
“How we conduct ourselves in this life will determine what we will be in all the eternities to come. To receive the blessings of sealing that our Heavenly Father has given to us, we have to keep the commandments and conduct ourselves in such a way that our families will want to live with us in the eternities…” (Ensign, Nov 1996, 64-68; manual, p. 101)
Elder Bruce R. McConkie Having One's Calling and Election Made Sure Doctrinal New Testament Commentary, Vol. 3, pp. 331-332
To have one's calling and election made sure is
To be sealed up unto eternal life;
It is to have the unconditional guarantee of exaltation in the highest heaven of the celestial world;
It is to receive the assurance of godhood;
It is, in effect, to have the day of judgment advanced, so that an inheritance of all the glory and honor of the Father's kingdom is assured prior to the day when the faithful actually enter into the divine presence...
Possible Scenarios Under the New and Everlasting Covenant of Marriage (D&C 132)
Scenario #1: Righteous couple, married "till death do us part" but not married by the Lord's word, i.e. the NECM (D&C 132:15-17)
Such marriage is not recognized in eternity; the parties will become separate and forever single after this life
Parties in the earthly marriage relationship cannot be "enlarged" (Abraham 3:26)
They are saved, but not exalted; by definition, they don't have eternal life (D&C 131:4; 132:22)
They become angels--ministering servants for exalted beings
Scenario #2:
Somewhat righteous couple, married for time and eternity but without ratifying seal of the Holy Ghost (D&C 132:18)
The marriage relationship becomes void in the next world--probably because these individuals were not valiant in their testimonies, or in other words, they never lived the high standards required by this order of the priesthood (D&C 76:79)
Scenario #3:
Righteous couple, married by the Lord's word and ratified by the Holy Ghost (D&C 132:19-20)
Marriage is recognized in eternity; parties in the relationship on earth will still be together as a couple in the celestial kingdom
They become exalted beings-gods--inheriting "thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers, dominions, all heights and depths"
All things will be subject to them (see also D&C 76:58-60)
Scenario #4:
Unrighteous couple, married by the Lord's word and previously ratified by the Holy Ghost (D&C 132:26)
Marriage is recognized in eternity; parties in the relationship will still be together as a couple in the celestial kingdom
However, because of their serious wickedness in mortality first they will be "destroyed in the flesh" and be subjected to the "buffetings of Satan" until full repentance is achieved
Restoration Personages
Moroni
John the Baptist
Peter, James, John
Moses
Elias
Elijah
Moses
Moses restored the authority to go anywhere on the earth to gather the Lord’s people, to establish Zion. We have God’s authority to teach God’s children anywhere they live. Who doesn’t know we have that authority? Many world leaders! We have been praying for years to get our missionaries into their countries. Peter, James, and John restored the authority to do missionary work, but Moses restored a special key that allows us to cover the earth and gather Israel into branches, wards, districts and stakes, worldwide.
Elias (restored the blessings of Abraham)
“Now what was the gospel of Abraham (restored by Elias)? It was the commission, the mission, the endowment and power, the message of salvation, given to Abraham. It was a divine promise that both in the world and out of the world his seed should continue “as innumerable as the stars; or, if ye were to count the sand upon the seashore ye could not number them.’ (D&C 132:30; Gen. 17; Abr. 2:1-12). Thus the gospel of Abraham restored by Elias was one of Celestial marriage; it was a gospel or commission to provide a lineage for the elect portion of the premortal spirits.”
ELIJAH
When a couple marries by priesthood authority (restored by Elijah), are faithful to their covenants, develop the attributes of Christ in their nature, and love each other, they are entitled to come forth in the resurrection with immortality and eternal lives---they retain the capacity to bear children. “Then shall they be gods, because they have no end; therefore shall they be from everlasting to everlasting, because they continue” (D&C 132:20).
How Many Priesthoods are there?
Orders of Priesthood:
Joseph Smith said: “all priesthood is Melchizedek, but there are different portions or degrees of it" (Joseph Fielding Smith, Jr., selected. and arranged. Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, Salt Lake City, Utah: Deseret Book, 1972, 180).
The Prophet Joseph Smith referred to these ‘portions’ or divisions of priesthood as ‘degrees’ or “grand orders“ (ibid, 322). He said: “There are three grand orders of priesthood. . .” (Teachings, 322).
Melchizedek Priesthood
Elder Bruce R. McConkie said of the patriarchal order, "[a couple] can enter an order of the priesthood named the new and everlasting covenant of marriage (See D&C 131:2), named also the patriarchal order, because of which order we can create for ourselves eternal family units of our own, patterned after the family of God our Heavenly Father."
("Priesthood Activation," Ensign, May 1982 p. 34.)
Elder McConkie: “I went to the temple, and I took my wife [to be] with me, and we kneeled at the altar. There on that occasion we entered, the two of us, into an 'order of the priesthood.' When we did it, we had sealed upon us, on a conditional basis, every blessing that God promised Father Abraham--the blessings of exaltation and eternal increase. The name of that order of priesthood, which is patriarchal in nature, because Abraham was a natural patriarch to his posterity, is the New and Everlasting Covenant of marriage."
("The Eternal Family Concept," devotional address at the Second Annual Priesthood Genealogical Research Seminar, BYU, 23 June 1967; see also Conference Report, Oct. 1977, 50, 51, italics added.)
President Boyd K. Packer explained the role of women in the family organization:
“No man receives the fulness of the priesthood without a woman at his side. For no man, the Prophet [Joseph Smith] said, can obtain the fulness of the priesthood outside the temple of the Lord (D&C 131:1-4). And she is there beside him in that sacred place. She shares in all that he receives. The man and the woman individually receive the ordinances encompassed in the endowment. But the man cannot ascend to the highest ordinances--the sealing ordinances--without her at his side. No man achieves the supernal exalting status of worthy fatherhood except as a gift from his wife. In the home and in the Church, sisters should be esteemed for their very nature.” (D&C 132:63)
(“The Relief Society,” Ensign, May 1998, 73.)
Men who marry in the temple and gain exaltation will be “priests and kings, who have received of his fullness, and of his glory” (D&C 76:56).
“Those who endure in perfect faith, who receive the Melchizedek Priesthood, and who gain the blessings of the temple (including celestial marriage) are eventually (anointed now to become) anointed [or ordained] kings and priests. These are offices given faithful holders of the Melchizedek Priesthood, and in them they will bear rule as exalted beings during the millennium and in eternity.”
(Bruce R. McConkie, Mormon Doctrine, 2nd ed. [SLC: Bookcraft, 1966], 599.)
Wives have callings similar to husbands. Elder McConkie explained:
“If righteous men have power through the gospel and the crowning ordinance of celestial marriage to become kings and priests to rule in exaltation forever, it follows that the women by their side (without whom they cannot attain exaltation) will be queens and priestesses. (Rev. 1:6; 5:10.) Exaltation grows out of the eternal union of a man and his wife. Of those whose marriage endures in eternity, the Lord says, “Then shall they be gods” (D&C 132:20); that is each of them, the man and the woman, will be a god. As such they will rule over their dominions forever.”
(Mormon Doctrine, 613).
Foreordination
To carry forward his own purposes among men and nations, the Lord foreordained chosen spirit children in pre-mortal life and assigned them to come to earth at particular times and places so that they might aid [Him] in furthering the divine will. ...Alma taught the great truth that every person who holds the Melchizedek Priesthood was foreordained to receive that high and holy order in the pre-existent councils of eternity.
(McConkie, Mormon Doctrine, 2nd ed., 290-291 – topic “foreordination.“)
An earlier First Presidency explained the meaning of ‘eternal lives:’
Orson Pratt
A Saint, who is one in deed and in truth, does not look for an immaterial heaven, but he expects a heaven with lands, houses, cities, vegetation, rivers, and animals; with thrones, temples, palaces, kings, princes, priests, and angels; with food, raiment, musical instruments…; all of which are material. Indeed, the Saints’ heaven is a redeemed, glorified, celestial, material creation, inhabited by glorified material beings, male and female, organized into families, embracing all the relationships of husbands and wives, parents and children where sorrow, crying, pain, and death will be no more. Or to speak still more definitely, this earth, when glorified, is the Saints’ eternal heaven. On it they expect to live, with body, parts, and holy passions: on it they expect to move and have their being; to eat, drink, converse, worship, sing, play on musical instruments, engage in joyful, innocent, social amusements, visit neighboring towns and neighboring worlds” (Orson Pratt, Millennial Star, Vol. 28, p. 722, November 17, 1866).
“We have long heard, and believed, that the Lord has reserved special spirits to come forth in the last days of the last dispensation. The Church’s rising generation of young men and women are a part of that vanguard. Reserved by the Lord for this time, they must now be preserved by parents and prepared for their special moment in human history! They have been held back to come forth at this time, but now they need to be pushed forward to meet their rendezvous. . .
One final thought: just as the rising generation is here, now, by divine design—so are we who have been placed just ahead of them. Our lives and theirs have and will intersect many times before it is all over, and not by accident.”
(“Unto the Rising Generation,” Ensign, Apr. 1985, 8, 11.)
President Gordon B. Hinckley: “The most important step you have made or will make in your life is marriage. Its consequences are many, so important and so everlasting. No other decision will have such tremendous consequences for the future” (BYU Commencement, April 27, 1995. Church News, Sept. 30, 1995, 2).
READ D&C 131:1-4
What is the New and Everlasting Covenant??
The marriage covenant had, for many centuries, been considered valid only ‘till death doth us part’; now a new covenant was about to be revealed, which would cover both eternity and time. It would be everlasting as well as new. It is new; and yet, it is as old as the gospel. It is as old as the plan of salvation adopted in the Council of Heaven, before the foundations of the world were laid…It is part of that plan, that covenant, of which Jesus Christ is the Representative and Mediator” (Hyrum M. Smith and Jane M. Sjodahl, The doctrine and Covenants Commentary, rev. ed. (1972), 822).
Joseph Fielding Smith
“The new and everlasting covenant…is everything – the fullness of the gospel. So marriage properly performed, baptism, ordination to the priesthood, everything else – every contract, every obligation, every performance that pertains to the gospel of Jesus Christ, which is sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise according to his law…, is part of the new and everlasting covenant… Therefore, all who seek a place in the kingdom of God are under the obligation and commandment to abide in the new and everlasting covenant, which is the fullness of the gospel with all of its rites, covenant, gifts, and obligations.” (Doctrines of Salvation, 1954-1956, 1: 158-59)
Elder Robert D. Hales
“How we conduct ourselves in this life will determine what we will be in all the eternities to come. To receive the blessings of sealing that our Heavenly Father has given to us, we have to keep the commandments and conduct ourselves in such a way that our families will want to live with us in the eternities…” (Ensign, Nov 1996, 64-68; manual, p. 101)
Elder Bruce R. McConkie Having One's Calling and Election Made Sure Doctrinal New Testament Commentary, Vol. 3, pp. 331-332
To have one's calling and election made sure is
To be sealed up unto eternal life;
It is to have the unconditional guarantee of exaltation in the highest heaven of the celestial world;
It is to receive the assurance of godhood;
It is, in effect, to have the day of judgment advanced, so that an inheritance of all the glory and honor of the Father's kingdom is assured prior to the day when the faithful actually enter into the divine presence...
Possible Scenarios Under the New and Everlasting Covenant of Marriage (D&C 132)
Scenario #1: Righteous couple, married "till death do us part" but not married by the Lord's word, i.e. the NECM (D&C 132:15-17)
Such marriage is not recognized in eternity; the parties will become separate and forever single after this life
Parties in the earthly marriage relationship cannot be "enlarged" (Abraham 3:26)
They are saved, but not exalted; by definition, they don't have eternal life (D&C 131:4; 132:22)
They become angels--ministering servants for exalted beings
Scenario #2:
Somewhat righteous couple, married for time and eternity but without ratifying seal of the Holy Ghost (D&C 132:18)
The marriage relationship becomes void in the next world--probably because these individuals were not valiant in their testimonies, or in other words, they never lived the high standards required by this order of the priesthood (D&C 76:79)
Scenario #3:
Righteous couple, married by the Lord's word and ratified by the Holy Ghost (D&C 132:19-20)
Marriage is recognized in eternity; parties in the relationship on earth will still be together as a couple in the celestial kingdom
They become exalted beings-gods--inheriting "thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers, dominions, all heights and depths"
All things will be subject to them (see also D&C 76:58-60)
Scenario #4:
Unrighteous couple, married by the Lord's word and previously ratified by the Holy Ghost (D&C 132:26)
Marriage is recognized in eternity; parties in the relationship will still be together as a couple in the celestial kingdom
However, because of their serious wickedness in mortality first they will be "destroyed in the flesh" and be subjected to the "buffetings of Satan" until full repentance is achieved
Restoration Personages
Moroni
John the Baptist
Peter, James, John
Moses
Elias
Elijah
Moses
Moses restored the authority to go anywhere on the earth to gather the Lord’s people, to establish Zion. We have God’s authority to teach God’s children anywhere they live. Who doesn’t know we have that authority? Many world leaders! We have been praying for years to get our missionaries into their countries. Peter, James, and John restored the authority to do missionary work, but Moses restored a special key that allows us to cover the earth and gather Israel into branches, wards, districts and stakes, worldwide.
Elias (restored the blessings of Abraham)
“Now what was the gospel of Abraham (restored by Elias)? It was the commission, the mission, the endowment and power, the message of salvation, given to Abraham. It was a divine promise that both in the world and out of the world his seed should continue “as innumerable as the stars; or, if ye were to count the sand upon the seashore ye could not number them.’ (D&C 132:30; Gen. 17; Abr. 2:1-12). Thus the gospel of Abraham restored by Elias was one of Celestial marriage; it was a gospel or commission to provide a lineage for the elect portion of the premortal spirits.”
ELIJAH
When a couple marries by priesthood authority (restored by Elijah), are faithful to their covenants, develop the attributes of Christ in their nature, and love each other, they are entitled to come forth in the resurrection with immortality and eternal lives---they retain the capacity to bear children. “Then shall they be gods, because they have no end; therefore shall they be from everlasting to everlasting, because they continue” (D&C 132:20).
How Many Priesthoods are there?
Orders of Priesthood:
Joseph Smith said: “all priesthood is Melchizedek, but there are different portions or degrees of it" (Joseph Fielding Smith, Jr., selected. and arranged. Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, Salt Lake City, Utah: Deseret Book, 1972, 180).
The Prophet Joseph Smith referred to these ‘portions’ or divisions of priesthood as ‘degrees’ or “grand orders“ (ibid, 322). He said: “There are three grand orders of priesthood. . .” (Teachings, 322).
Melchizedek Priesthood
Elder Bruce R. McConkie said of the patriarchal order, "[a couple] can enter an order of the priesthood named the new and everlasting covenant of marriage (See D&C 131:2), named also the patriarchal order, because of which order we can create for ourselves eternal family units of our own, patterned after the family of God our Heavenly Father."
("Priesthood Activation," Ensign, May 1982 p. 34.)
Elder McConkie: “I went to the temple, and I took my wife [to be] with me, and we kneeled at the altar. There on that occasion we entered, the two of us, into an 'order of the priesthood.' When we did it, we had sealed upon us, on a conditional basis, every blessing that God promised Father Abraham--the blessings of exaltation and eternal increase. The name of that order of priesthood, which is patriarchal in nature, because Abraham was a natural patriarch to his posterity, is the New and Everlasting Covenant of marriage."
("The Eternal Family Concept," devotional address at the Second Annual Priesthood Genealogical Research Seminar, BYU, 23 June 1967; see also Conference Report, Oct. 1977, 50, 51, italics added.)
President Boyd K. Packer explained the role of women in the family organization:
“No man receives the fulness of the priesthood without a woman at his side. For no man, the Prophet [Joseph Smith] said, can obtain the fulness of the priesthood outside the temple of the Lord (D&C 131:1-4). And she is there beside him in that sacred place. She shares in all that he receives. The man and the woman individually receive the ordinances encompassed in the endowment. But the man cannot ascend to the highest ordinances--the sealing ordinances--without her at his side. No man achieves the supernal exalting status of worthy fatherhood except as a gift from his wife. In the home and in the Church, sisters should be esteemed for their very nature.” (D&C 132:63)
(“The Relief Society,” Ensign, May 1998, 73.)
Men who marry in the temple and gain exaltation will be “priests and kings, who have received of his fullness, and of his glory” (D&C 76:56).
“Those who endure in perfect faith, who receive the Melchizedek Priesthood, and who gain the blessings of the temple (including celestial marriage) are eventually (anointed now to become) anointed [or ordained] kings and priests. These are offices given faithful holders of the Melchizedek Priesthood, and in them they will bear rule as exalted beings during the millennium and in eternity.”
(Bruce R. McConkie, Mormon Doctrine, 2nd ed. [SLC: Bookcraft, 1966], 599.)
Wives have callings similar to husbands. Elder McConkie explained:
“If righteous men have power through the gospel and the crowning ordinance of celestial marriage to become kings and priests to rule in exaltation forever, it follows that the women by their side (without whom they cannot attain exaltation) will be queens and priestesses. (Rev. 1:6; 5:10.) Exaltation grows out of the eternal union of a man and his wife. Of those whose marriage endures in eternity, the Lord says, “Then shall they be gods” (D&C 132:20); that is each of them, the man and the woman, will be a god. As such they will rule over their dominions forever.”
(Mormon Doctrine, 613).
Foreordination
To carry forward his own purposes among men and nations, the Lord foreordained chosen spirit children in pre-mortal life and assigned them to come to earth at particular times and places so that they might aid [Him] in furthering the divine will. ...Alma taught the great truth that every person who holds the Melchizedek Priesthood was foreordained to receive that high and holy order in the pre-existent councils of eternity.
(McConkie, Mormon Doctrine, 2nd ed., 290-291 – topic “foreordination.“)
An earlier First Presidency explained the meaning of ‘eternal lives:’
Orson Pratt
A Saint, who is one in deed and in truth, does not look for an immaterial heaven, but he expects a heaven with lands, houses, cities, vegetation, rivers, and animals; with thrones, temples, palaces, kings, princes, priests, and angels; with food, raiment, musical instruments…; all of which are material. Indeed, the Saints’ heaven is a redeemed, glorified, celestial, material creation, inhabited by glorified material beings, male and female, organized into families, embracing all the relationships of husbands and wives, parents and children where sorrow, crying, pain, and death will be no more. Or to speak still more definitely, this earth, when glorified, is the Saints’ eternal heaven. On it they expect to live, with body, parts, and holy passions: on it they expect to move and have their being; to eat, drink, converse, worship, sing, play on musical instruments, engage in joyful, innocent, social amusements, visit neighboring towns and neighboring worlds” (Orson Pratt, Millennial Star, Vol. 28, p. 722, November 17, 1866).
“We have long heard, and believed, that the Lord has reserved special spirits to come forth in the last days of the last dispensation. The Church’s rising generation of young men and women are a part of that vanguard. Reserved by the Lord for this time, they must now be preserved by parents and prepared for their special moment in human history! They have been held back to come forth at this time, but now they need to be pushed forward to meet their rendezvous. . .
One final thought: just as the rising generation is here, now, by divine design—so are we who have been placed just ahead of them. Our lives and theirs have and will intersect many times before it is all over, and not by accident.”
(“Unto the Rising Generation,” Ensign, Apr. 1985, 8, 11.)
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